Five year old son - does he require assessment?

[Sailorsgirl44]

My son is five and has just started school. I had a chat with his teacher and she says she has had reason to speak very firmly to him a number of times in the first few days.

He has shaken his fist at her and has refused to do things. He scratched an older child in the playground - he gave a very begrudging apology for that. He told another child he would kill him (in the course of an argument).

At home we have found him hard work too - he can be very good but then something will happen and his responses can be very aggressive.

We don't have video games and he's only ever watched cartoons on tv.

He has a brother and sister and they are both gentle and well behaved most of the time.

The teacher has said she would recommend he be put in for an assessment as these take ages to happen. What might an assessment turn up?

Its hard to know - he might settle down or it could be a sign that there's some issue there.

My son was diagnosed with autism at age 5 - after he started school. Until then we hadn't really noticed there was anything up with him - although in hindsight there was clues but we were oblivious to them.

There were issues with my son's behaviour in school from the first day he started - i felt absolutely awful being stopped by the teacher everyday so she could let me know about that day's incident. He would get upset and cry and shout in the class. Sometimes he hit out at other children in the yard which I now understand was because he was overwhelmed with the chaos in the yard.

Since he was diagnosed he has got a lot of help and understanding and things have improved hugely. He is now 8 and he still gets a bit upset in the class but only about once or twice a month now. He is learning how to manage his emotions and the school are helping him with this. He never hits anyone these days fortunately.

We had a similar experience when my son started school. He was hard work at home but managed ok at nursery. In school he really struggled. He eventually was diagnosed with autism. With the right support he doing ok at school. If they are offering an assessment I would agree. Given the waiting lists it's better to get on them asap. If he settles down then you haven't lost anything.

Watching with interest as I have a 5 year old dd who behaves in a similar way (just started school so I am awaiting feedback about her behaviour in the playground). She is so volatile at home and seems to over-react (she doesn't like being told what to do/raised voices in particular/doesn't like to follow instructions and has no fear) but can also be extremely loving and sociable. I am hoping that she will grow into her emotions over the next year or so. I have two other dc so cant always give her the attention she craves and tbh, I am ashamed to say I often feel overwhelmed by her (other two dc seem to have a different personality; I have blamed myself often for dd's behaviour but then I think her siblings aren't like that). It is draining isn't it and I am sort of relieved that dd is at school now and her behaviour can be monitored by somebody else (and I can get some respite) dh doesn't think that there is an issue but I am convinced that something isn't quite right.