18 month old screaming at bedtime help

[Coffeenap]

Hi, please can one of you lovely ladies help me. Ds always used to go to sleep with no problems in our bed and we transfer him into his cot where he used to stay and sleep through. For the last couple of weeks though he has been fighting bedtime and screaming so much it affects his breathing, he gets himself so worked up. The minute I put him on his pillow he will arch his back and scream and throw anything in his way across the room. This will last for a couple of hours. He has also been waking in the night with what we think are night terrors and only his favourite cartoon will console him as believe me we have tried everything and he is inconsolable and really is very distressed. Me and dh are so fed up and tired, we get no evening and are stressed about bedtime. I dread putting ds to bed to be honest as I know what’s ahead of me.

I’m at my wits end and don’t know what to do. We’ve tried earlier bedtime, later bedtime, longer and shorter bedtime routine, bath, nightlights and all of the usual soothing techniques but nothing has worked.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Forgot to mention we’ve also tried leaving ds for the full night in our bed and it makes no difference we encounter the same problems whether he’s in our bed or in his cot.

Perhaps keep him up a bit later, reading with him, relaxing.

He could of course be having bad dreams - night terrors. A lot of little children do, no comfort to you right now but they do pass.

You actually need to start from the beginning and get some help. Many health visitors are trained in sleep problems. If yours isn't, find one who is. You have to start from the position he is calm, which may be lying beside him, and then in a very systematic way gradually move after a few nights to a chair, later move the chair to the door etc. The aim is to gain the child's confidence before you move to the next step. It takes a great deal of patience and consistency and you will do better with help and support,

i am assuming he has never settled in his own bed as you used to put him in yours. This is the root cause. He will learn. gently gently. Don't be tempted to try quick fixes, or controlled crying. He has no understanding of what is required