How can I help my nearly 4 year old to 'chill out'

[hippmummy]

Maybe I'm asking for too much...

DS1 is 3.10 and is quite highly strung (for want of a better word). He is a really lovely little boy chatty and bright and interested in things and has a great sense of humour.
But there is another side to him which is becoming increasingly hard work. I don't really know how best to describe it other than give some examples:

1. He has zero patience at the moment - If you don't answer him immediately he will start to just repeat mummy, mummy mummy mummy (this gets more and more shrill!)

2. He cannot bear changes of plan. It's not so bad at home because we've learned to give him 2 minute warnings but his preschool are find he flips out when they ask him to stop what he's doing.

3. He has little issues like he doesn't like short sleeves because he doesn't want the children to touch his arms.

4. He will hold off and off going to the toilet because he doesn't want DS2 to get the toy he's playing with.

I'm not worried about him in any way, but am wary of telling him not to be silly because obviously these things seem important to him.

Any ideas about how I can get him to be a bit more laid back? Or will he just grow out of it (or not!).

I will try too. Thank you.

I think you could be right blueshoes - a lot of it is normal behaviour for his age. But a lot of it is his personality too. He gets over anxious about lots of things that I really don't think would bother other kids.

E.g nearly in tears today because he didn't like having one trouser leg hanging off when sitting on the toilet (had to be both or neither)

Also agree with saffymum about it to do with frustration over lack of control.

As I say, I'm not really worried and I do love his little oddnesses, but for his sake (and mine ) I'd like him not to get so stressed about stuff.

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at no typo!

cod doesn't DO typos

hippmummy, your ds must be dd's longlost twin.

Dd's toiletting equivalent is that her knickers must be around her ankles, NOT her knees. And God forbid if there a little splash ended up on them!

Yes, I can see she is trying to assert control over her world. It is important to her. She was never a laid back baby. Not one to just lie in her cot, carseat or buggy (in fact, she NEVER did). Really hard work. Won't be ignored.

Isn't that a good thing, once our los are older