hitting when frustrated at me!

[Paddlechick666]

hi

my dd is 19 months. she's a bright and adventurous delight but, of course, into everything.

when she's tired or frustrated with me for not doing something quickly enough she's started to hit me a bit.

she's never hit another child or anything and i know it's not done with malicious intent.

i don't really know how to handle it tho. i tell her quite sternly that it's not nice and her behaviour is naughty. then i ask her to say sorry and give me a kiss. which she generally does if she's not already on her way into a tantrum!

is this a good way to handle it? i can't think of another way tbh but it doesn't feel like i'm getting her to understand either.

TIA

I think you're handling it pretty well. This just seems like normal behaviour - is her hitting more like swatting at you than trying to actually hurt you? My son (24 months) does the same thing although it is getting less now. His friends (two little boys and two little girls all about the same age) do the same sorts of things with their mothers too. None of them hit other kids. I think it might be a pre-verbal thing - that DS just doesn't have enough words yet to fully express what he means. No idea why he only does this to me and no-one else, not even daddy, though!

hi gategypsy, thanks for the advice. it's exactly that sort of swatting that you describe and only with me!

her speech is really coming on so hopefully she'll replace swatting with verbalising soon!

mind you, then it'll be shouting instructions at me LOL!

yes, DS is already shouting instructions at me, and rather assertively too. Sit Down mummy. Dinner mummy. Car mummy.

Oh the car one is great - which car is it that he can't find? Who knows! But he'll spend a long time looking, and will get convinced I've got it hidden somewhere in a pocket or under a cushion.

That it's not malicious helps me a lot. I just let the hitting go - there's no real intent to hurt and I just concentrate on helping him work out a way to tell me what it is that is frustrating him. Although not with any great success yet...

Yes i think the way you're doing it is fine, I would do as you do but give it no further attention at all, walk away if you can so that she gets the strong message that mum doesn't stick around for that treatment. For instance if she won't for some reason say sorry and kiss you then don't stand there insisting, as it just gives her lots of attention for behaviour you don't want. Short is best I think.

It is so normal this. My ds is still capable of trying to do this and he's four