TV/computer addiction - is this normal?

[rippers]

I am having a really hard time at the moment getting my 12 year old off the tv/computer/gameboy and out into the real world. I can't decide how to tackle the problem next, I have limited her to about an hour a day of computer games and an hour a day of tv as if I let her she would play all day and never do anything else. A couple of weeks ago she was not even getting dressed/breakfast etc. just woke up, switched on tv and sat there until told to move! I have had to take her gameboy away from her and she has to come to me to get it and bring it back after playing as I found she was waking in middle of night and playing it! She is totally obsessed and if there is no tv on doesn't know what to do with herself, her addiction has got out of control and is affecting her life/friendships etc. Am I blowing this out of proportion, or is this a 'normal' issue for 12 year olds?

I will be interested to see the replies you get as my 6 year old is addicted to computer games too, we have limited him to an hour in the morning and an hour after his sister have gone to bed, but we get "I'm bored, what can I do? There is nothing to do!!"

My ds1 age 10 is excactly the same. On schooldays even he would get up at 7 switch on the ps2 and not move. The ps2 is now banned in our house before school which it should be anyway. Its just that he would get up before me and put it on. He has been getting up in the holidays, putting on the ps2 and finally getting dressed at 10.30ish after a lot of nagging from me. Its always him saying I have just got to do this level etc. He spends all his pocket money on games. He is the same with his gameboy and wants a gamecube for christmas. When he finally gets off the ps2 he switches on the tv. My dh gets really fed up with him and says he does not know how to act in the real world. BTW we just went away for 2 weeks, no tv or ps2 and he was a different child, extrovert, funny , energetic and real fun to be with. When I tell him there was no such thing as ps2s etc when I was young he thinks I am making it up. Ds2 age 9 can take the ps2 or leave it. It seems that some children are obsessed with it.

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It is difficult isn't it, you want them to find ways of entertaining themselves, but these activities do become obsessive if you are not careful. My ds is younger (5 in 2 weeks), and atm we fight because one of the cable TV stations is showing Scooby Doo ALL DAY every day, so he wants to watch it all the time. He will also plasy on the computer for hours if allowed.

We have rules about the computer, he has to earn the priviledge. If he hasn't had a tantrum all day, he can use the computer after tea. He's having to earn Scooby Doo viewing too. We turn it off, and do something else, he has to help me in the house, or play with a toy until the clock gets to ..... before he can turn it on again.

I can see it gets harder as they get older tho'. I would use it to get them to help around the house tho I think. Each job done earns 15 minutes computer time?

Sorry, no experience of 12 yos but my nearly 7 yo would play playstation every day if he was allowed. I wish we didn't have one (it's dp's) but since we do have one we limit it to twice a week on Wednesdays and Saturday mornings. Even given this restriction it sometimes makes his behaviour horrible after he's played it and we don't have violent games, it's footballand stuff. I don't have the same problem with tv though, if it's off he does find other things to do or will join in with whatever is going on/going out somewhere. I do think they're horribly addictive things, a guy I work with (who's 25) told me yesterday that he was up til 2am the night before playing his and he had a job to go to the next morning! So no other advice than to limit it which might force her to find other tihngs to do.

agree it's good to limit computers/gameboys/TV in some way. I find my 10 year old gets obsessed about one and then not bothers as much with the others, then a few weeks later it all changes again. 2 months ago he was totally into his gameboy. Now it's gathering dust. Then he was into a football game on his Xbox, now that obsession is on the wane and he's really into watching wrestling on TV (yuk!). So I have to be careful what I ban. Right now, banning his gameboy would be no punishment at all. I am really glad his enthusiasms wax and wane actually - at least it shows all this stuff does not have a permanent hold on him. Because of this, I don't impose huge limits on the time he spends on his latest favourite technology.

I don't mind if, in the holidays, he spends five hours spread over the day, watching TV, playing games, etc etc. However, that's because he's doing lots of other things too - whether inside our outside - cooking, chores, going to he park, skateboarding, seeng friends. I'll turn off the TV or computer to make sure he does get out and do stuff. Also this holiday he's got 3 weeks of all-day sports clubs and play clubs to go to, so that's keeping him busy. And since he has the 11+ looming, ds and I are spending half and hour a day, (or more if our tempers don't give out) doing practice questions. I never had to do homework like this at his age and as my mother didn't work, I never had to go to holiday playclubs - I just happily drifed around at home. In contrast, my son's life seems much more busy and organised. I feel he needs time to veg out, doing exactly what he wants to do to compensiate for this.