My DD was terribly fussy, especially with sauces, it was only later that it dawned on us that she may have sensory issues.
I think you’re right about forcing her, I can’t see how he thinks that will help her enjoy family meals at all.
Could you get her helping to plan the weeks meals? So give her at least one night where she gets to choose what you all eat. I’d also give yourself a night off and give her exactly what she wants and you and DH have a late supper when she goes to bed.
Does she help in the kitchen much too? That helped my DD as she got more used to handling and seeing the food before it arrived on the plate.
Another thing that helped was trying to keep her portion sizes tiny, but I would suggest letting her serve herself. This Guide from the Caroline Walker Trust suggests letting them serve themselves. I was sceptical at first, and my DD is older,, but letting her be in control of what goes on her plate has really changed mealtimes. She’s so much more relaxed and so are we. The only problem I have is that DH doesn’t always get the “serve yourself” concept and I have to stop him either piling food on everyone’s plates or eating the lot himself 
I’d also really cut down on snacks. When we looked at what our DD was eating, she was eating enough but the balance between snacks and meals was all wrong. We limited the snacks and she started eating much better at mealtimes.
The book, Help! My Child Won’t Eat is supposed to be very good too 