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6yo anxiety about Christmas play

1 reply

Bookywook · 07/08/2018 23:03

My DS is 6 and about to go into year 2. He's always been very quiet outside of the home - struggles with speaking up in class and talking to people that he doesn't know well. Whenever there's a class assembly, his previous teachers have been very understanding of him, as in not forcing him to speak on stage, but he'd never even join in with the group singing either. He says he hates having to be on stage in front of everyone. I totally get this as I used to be exactly the same at school, and even now I can't speak up in meetings at work/big social gatherings.
In the year 2 Christmas production, the children are all expected to speak lines (in yr 1 they were just the choir). DS is worrying about it already, despite the fact it's still the summer hols. He's so upset about it. I've told him that I'll talk to his teacher in September, but I know that he will still be encouraged (forced) to do it, and I'm so upset for him - especially that he's worrying about something that's four months away! I've always tried to be encouraging with all his assemblies, despite feeling like a complete fraud as I would feel the same. But every time, he sits on that stage and freezes, and sticks out like a sore thumb when the other 29 children just get on with it (and enjoy it).
Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can do to help him? I wish that I'd been helped as a child as I feel that having this kind of social anxiety has really held me back in life, and I don't want the same for him.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AjasLipstick · 08/08/2018 02:11

I would help him feel more in control. I would work on helping him to begin speaking in more challenging situations...for example, has he ever gone up to the counter in a shop and paid for something?

If not, start with that. Tell him he doesn't have to speak but it would be nice if he said "thank you".

Then if he manages it....even if he doesn't say thank you...HEAP him with praise.

Talk about how wonderful he was...how great he is etc. Then repeat as many times as you can....and add new challenges. Saying hi to some other kids in the park or asking someone if he can pat their dog.

Then in September, speak again to his teacher and tell them how you're working on his confidence. The teacher should work with you....gradually building DS up to speak a little in class etc.

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