My child has no friends but her siblings do😣

[Mykidsmyworld579]

My dd has no friends to play with outside of school and its really impacting on our home life. Esp now summer hols are here. Shes 8. Her 10yr old sister has 2 friends who constantly call round to play. Her 6yr old brother has 1 friend whos been round a few times.
She did have a friend but is no longer allowed to see that child outside of school because of an incident that happened which i cant go into.
This has now left her completely isolated and its causing so many problems which leave me completely exhausted.
Im not blaming anyone for the situation which has now arisen.
But desperately need advice where to go from here as im at breaking point.
If my eldest dd wants a friend round she will cause such trouble and fuss about it ive had to stop that. If my eldest goes round her friends house then she will just cry hysterically the whole time shes gone and nothing i say or do calms her down.
My neighbours daughter only wants to play with my eldest and hates my dd.
Ive even told my eldest she cant play with her unless her sister plays too.
My eldest doesnt help matters as says her sister can play but then also bullies her and i cant lock them in allday every day overthe holidays. As my neighbours daughter constantly calls out for my oldest dd allday relentlessly even if i do say no, her parents dont care.
I have told my oldest ds that, but doesnt respect or care for my wishes and just eggs the situation on.
If my ds wants his friend round or to go their she kicks off again.
I really feel for her as she is a lovely girl but no one seems to want to play with her.
I have a few friends who have daughters and ive even stopped going round theirs now as they only want to play with my eldest dd and leave her out, then i get it in the neck.
So i haven't seen anyone all holiday, im just so fed up with both my dds constant bickering and fighting im scared to go anywhere.
My dd is so good at school and does have a few friends but doesnt get invited to parties or houses and my other 2 do.
Ive tried speaking to a few mums and said if you want the girls to meet up over the holidays and given them my number but have had no msg from no one.
My dd cries all the time and ive tried to explain to her that i cant invite her round theirs but she keeps saying invite them round here please mum please and i have tried believe me, but no one replies to me.
Im actually heart broken. And exhausted and tired and stressed its just constant with her all day.
She needs my full undivded attention all day .
I just dont know what to do.
At the moment ive banned my other 2 from going out or having friends to play. I know that's not right or fair on them but i actually cannot cope with my dds reaction otherwise.
Im completely burnt out through by the neighbours daughter constantly going on.
I just simply dont know what to do 😢😭😓😫😡😠

Is there a holiday course or play scheme she could go to? Something like a drama course perhaps.

Thankyou for replying. After another very long trying day and her having a full blown 5hr meltdown even after i took her swimming. I saw your post and have been ringing round playschemes etc all no luck as fully booked. But thankfully her granny who lives 70miles away has said she can go stay with her for a few weeks. My dd wasnt happy at first and screamed even louder. But after a good chat she knows it not a punishment but an adventure and sometime to have some valuable 1 to 1 time and of course get spoiled.
Shes excited now thank goodness. My other 2 are ok with it aswell. So for now its a temporary fix, but at least we all get some breathing space.
Thanks again for replying. Its hard being a parent sometimes and ive no nearby family.
But her granny is lovely and will be good for her even though shes far away.
Thanks again

This sounds really tough for you.
Ok firstly, she's a lovely girl but nobody wants to play with her, she doesn't get invited to parties, people invited on play dates don't respond? So something is going wrong from her end isn't it? It's not clear from your post whether you know what her issues are or are in a bit of denial. Firstly, I'd suggest working on her social skills with her, there are books,stories and board games that can help with this.
Secondly, I'd say try to stop letting her control things in the house. In the post there's a lot of statements about not letting your dc do x and y because she will kick off, also comments such as "I will get it in the neck...." suggest you all tread carefully around her temper? Could this be true? If so, perhaps another strand of her social education needs to be that you all start to stand your ground and stop letting her control things. (Sorry I realise this is often easier said than done!)
And agree with the pp, maybe for the future holidays book her into a range of activities and clubs so that she can get out of the house and make new friends.
Good luck and I hope the break at Granny's house goes well.