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Struggling to be consistent when DD1 bites/hits/pulls/pinches

2 replies

Scree · 01/06/2007 19:33

I suppose I haven't really come up with a winning formula, this seems to have been going on for a while now. DD1 is 19 months old, and I react differently depending upom the severity of her attack. I have never shouted at her, but I have experimented with angry sounding voice etc etc. Have tried low key, moving her away from situation, and just saying no.

She obviously doesn't understand that she s hurting others. Usually she lashes out, and looks either cross or overly excited, and grabs, usually face and eyes, and shouts "OW", this is reminiscent of a game she used to play with my Mum, which I've (eventually) put a stop to. The last couple of days she's started biting though, and I'm certain this is not done in any anger, and she has no idea it may hurt She bit her little sisters foot, and when I told her off, and DD2 cried, she bit her own foot and giggled since it tickled her, as if to demonstrate that it didn't hurt. Oh god, I'm waffling!

Anyway, I need to formulate a strategy for dealing with these incidents. Should I be dealing with a sustained pounding (I mean twice, with intention to continue) of DD2's face with a plastic lemon in the same way as I would a minor grab??

Also I have found that if I can make more time to spend with her on my own, she is much much better, which is great if DD2 sleeps well during the day, but not possible to manage every day. Also if I can prevent an attack, I've found that there are far less attempts, but again this isn;t always possible, and I'm really conscious that I want DD2 to be her friend, not something she isn't allowed to touch or play with. Most of the time with her interaction with DD2 she is adorable, kissing and hugging (for which she gets ample praise), but then often just flips.

I exepct this is a bit of a boring subject, posted about regularly, but I'd be really grateful for any help. THANK YOU!!

OP posts:
nannytania · 01/06/2007 20:05

Have you tried giving her a time out for when she does bites etc?
Even though she is under 2 this can still work effectively. For this age about 1 or two minutes in a quiet place.

If you think it is attention sseeking sometimes it helps to actually completely ignore her when she strikes out, but give her sibling heaps of attention as the victim - although sometimes this strategy can get worse before it gets better as she will probably up the attention seeking.

some parents swear biting back is the answer but i'm not sure.

And this is very normal behaviour of this age group. 1 in 10 children go thru a biting stage. It's quite common!!

PregnantGrrrl · 02/06/2007 21:32

DS is almost a year old, and biting quite hard (he has 8 teeth, which doesn't help!) He definately knows what he's doing- he thinks it's a game.

We keep putting our finger out, saying 'no' firmly and putting him down / away from us. If he tries to climb on us or play in the immediate couple of minutes, we ignore him.

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