So my 2 year old has really hit a very defiant phase. He wants to test every boundary. He's only about 25 months old so he's not an old 2. He is very verbal and articulate though. Like he has no issues WHATSOEVER telling us what he wants or even why he's upset, it's usually because he is not getting what he wants, or because he is getting something he doesn't want such as his sleeping bag or reins "Noooooo! We don't want the reins!" is a normal kind of expression as he suddenly appears completely unable to use his legs, and I mean I don't know when he found time to go on a non-violent resistance course or something but he must have because he is a PRO at it.
I read about kids being put in time out - like on a "naughty spot" - honestly I laugh at the idea. The idea he would stay put on my say so - even after taking him back there a million times - seems ridiculous to me (I envision many giggles as he runs back to the spot when he sees me coming to take him there).
I wouldn't say he's totally out of control so much as the only control I have over him is purely physical. I cannot control him emotionally - he doesn't care if I tell him something I did hurt me or his brother say - I cannot control him rationally - he doesn't care for explanations of why he shouldn't do or should do something if he has his mind set on another way, and distraction? I wish. Once he has it in his mind to act it's far too late and he doesn't give off clues in advance (plus sometimes I do have to do other things...)
I really don't think it's going that badly from my perspective - because I can physically control him. I can put him in the playpen (either for a 2 minute time out kind of thing or just to get him out of my hair when things that he really can't participate in are going on, like say bleaching the toilets or whatever), I can put him on the reins, I can pick him up and move him where he needs to be etc.
But I am worried that long term I am screwing up somehow. Like if I don't get him willingly obeying, willingly accepting me as an authority figure in his life now that he will one day be one of those kids screaming and threatening their mothers in shops when they're 8-10 years old (or older!).
If I'm going terribly wrong tell me how to fix. If I am not then provide reassurance.