3 year old from Hell

[JuJu2017]

I'm at my wit's end with my son. He's so naughty and everything has to be his own way. People such as friends comment on how badly behaved he is and his DH's mother downright refuses to take him anywhere with her because of how naughty he can be.
For a bit of background, he's three, and he can be lovely. Kind hearted, sweet, loving, all of that ... but then when he flips, he screams, hits, bites, throws things around, hits. He refuses to listen to anything I say and when he's refused he screams non-stop. We've tried the standard advice and just ignore him but he doesn't stop. He doesn't go to sleep. We've put him in his room and left him to sleep but he screamed solidly for three hours before we gave in and let him out. We've tried this repeatedly and it's the same outcome. I don't know what to do. When he's nice, he's nice, but when he's bad ... he's bad. I get kids are naughty and this post probably doesn't do his bad behaviour justice, but it's killing me and my partner. We can't have any time together because he's constantly up, we can't ask him to do anything because he doesn't listen, we can't discipline because everything we try he finds either funny or he hits us. He's starting school nursery in September and I'm terrified he's going to be the naughty kid.I'm sorry for the rant, but any advice would be appreciated, or just to know I'm not alone :(.

I have a toddler like this! Ive had no end of pointing and staring as people are horrified how bad it can be! I found nursery helped no end. I was covered in bruises weekly and my toddler would draw blood. Since nursery we have had incidents but definitely noticed it has become less frequent. I try to empathise with feelings and understand why it has happened. Often I find my toddler just needs to get it out of their system so has a 'chew buddy' to bite when angry. I say I'm moving away as they're trying to hurt and I won't let them hit. We have a space for them to calm down that isn't overstimulating and if I see my child hurt another (if I don't manage to block it in time) I explain that they have hurt the child, it has made them feel sad and try to put the attention on the hurt child so the behaviour isn't being reinforced. I do use consequence so if my child is being rough whilst playing and doesn't stop when reminded to be gentle then play time stops. I have been told by nursery that I'm doing everything 'right' but I still have problems. I truly think that some kids take longer to learn to manage their emotions. I know it's tough, hang in there!

Contact your local SureStart children's centre to see if they offer the Triple P Parenting programme. I did the course and found it very useful - offers strategies for dealing with various behaviours, consequences, and rewarding good behaviour. There is also a website and YouTube videos.