My partner is getting very frustrated with my daughter - since I've started back at work we divvy up the childcare much more evenly, they often get on really well but a lot of the time she just shouts "mummy mummy mummy" and cries at him the whole time he's looking after her :( this is a pain as it means when we're both available I end up doing the bulk of the childcare as he just says 'she wants you' - this means he does almost everything else in the house, and I feel like a waste of space because I never cook a meal or tidy up or make any contribution that is visible or quantifiable, I just 'look after the baby' all the time!
It's also difficult when I do look after her - when she is being good for him, she will play quite independently alongside him provided she gets regular feedback ("good girl, that's a big tower, can you knock it down?" "Are you changing dolly's nappy?" type interaction you can do whilst doing something else at the same time). When I'm looking after her she wants 100% focus from me, if I try to e.g. make breakfast she mills around my knees crying "mummy mummy mummy" until I pick her up, breastfeed her, or get down on my hands and knees and play with her - I get nothing done!!!
Is my problem that she isn't independent enough generally, or do I need to do more to foster a better relationship between her and DP?
We are trying to do this: he puts her to bed at the moment every other night - this is part of a longterm plan to gently wean her - and she is fine with him at bathtime but then screams for me until she goes to sleep, every time :(
Again though, she will eventually ask him to put her in her cot and go to sleep there, but on my nights, she will only go to sleep while I'm breastfeeding her in my arms, and if she wakes up when I'm putting her down will cry to be picked up again and we have to repeat the whole rigmarole!
Any advice gratefully received!