Baby whining constantly - can't take any more

[Bea1985]

Hello MN'ers,

I think this is more of a vent really, has anyone else been driven mad by a whining baby?

DD is 7.5m and for the past couple of weeks has whined all day long. Not crying, she's not in pain as far as I can see, am always checking if she's hungry / has a dirty nappy - most of the time she is whining I really don't think there's anything wrong!

It's like a high pitched frustrated noise. She does it when she's sat on the floor playing ! The worst whining happens when she is trying to crawl. She used to hate being on her front but now is interested in crawling she frequently leans forward from sitting to being on her front, but then starts whining x100 !!

The only time she doesn't whinge is when I'm carrying her about in my arms (hates the sling) but I am exhausted from doing this !

Is she just going through a phase? Is it because she is frustrated as she can't move her body the way she wants?

I did two bad things this morning as I felt I couldn't cope any more (I'm extremely sleep deprived btw):

1. Put her in her pushchair thinking she must need a nap. She whined then shouted then cried and I just shouted "SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!!!" And left her to cry for a couple of minutes .... before getting her out and giving her a cuddle, feeling terrible. I can't believe I shouted at my baby :-( it's not her fault.

1. Put her in her baby Einstein facing the tv with nursery Rhymes playing. She glazed over and just stared at the tv for 20 mins and I felt such relief as I sat there and drank my cup of tea. I know babies shouldn't watch tv - precisely because it makes them glaze over! -and I really exploited this to shut her up.

I have, for the first time, found myself wishing she had an off switch at times during the past two weeks. I even took her to gp in case she had an ear infection or something - nothing wrong with her!!

Between 6 and 10 weeks she had colic and cried all afternoon every day, I feel like I'm back there again!!

Please tell me this too shall pass?

It probably just is frustration OP. If you are feeling overwhelmed and she’s safe, it’s oerfectly ok to leave the room for a couple of minutes before it gets to the shouting stage.

Have you got a door bouncer or a jumperoo? They might alleviate her frustration a little.

It sounds like you could both do with a change of scene too. Have you got anyone to meet up with for a coffee or coukd you take her to the park or swimming or just stick her in the pushchair and go out for a long walk to clear your head?

If you are sleep deprived, have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution? And have you got anything booked for you to look forward to?

Yes it's definitely a stage, although it's a particularly annoying one. Can you encourage more tummy time so that she can learn to crawl sooner?

Thanks both ....

She had a jumperoo and a baby Einstein and whinges in both of them! Almost like she's about to start crying (but normally doesn't).

We are going away for the weekend thank goodness! I'm looking forward to that. I do try to get out each day for a walk, see a friend etc. I do think she whinges more in the house than when we are out.

Yes I could try more tummy time. Do you really think that would help her to crawl sooner ? I wonder what I can do to help her "get it". I do try putting my hands behind her feet so that she can at least propel forwards, she still turns the whinging up to 11 though !

She *has a jumperoo ....

Tummy time might help with crawling. How is she with tummy time now? I now you said she gets frustrated if she goes from sitting to being on her tummy, but if you intentially put her on her tummy with something to do or see, is she ok for a few minutes then?

There are some tummy time activities you might want to try here

Have you spoken to anyone in RL about how you are feeling too OP?

Hi,

Thanks for your message. She's in bed now and I'm feeling better. It so guilty for shouting at her earlier l. I haven't told my husband.

I'll see what I can do to get the wee thing crawling. I took her for a walk this afternoon in an outward facing sling I've borrowed - and she was heavy but stayed quiet so perhaps when I've really had enough of the moaning I can do that as a strategy!

That does sound like a good plan. How were you doing before the whinging started? You mentioned being sleep deprived, did you have any birth trauma by any chance?

Yes vey traumatic birth , 73 hours of active labour followed lots of emergency intervention - how on earth did you know?!

I had a rough first few weeks of motherhood (not least because of the birth) but have been doing well but do not have much RL support. The whinging been exacerbated by summer hols (eg no baby groups ....)

Please don’t beat yourself up! My son watches TV every day (well, as much as babies actually watch it) and has done since he was little. He’s 13 months adjusted age and has a brilliant vocabulary. We sing and play along with the programs. So if 20 minutes a day for you to de-stress and have a cuppa helps you do it.

My son is hard work/whiney/non-sleeping. I find some days/weeks harder than others. Try and go out every day: even if she is whining is Tesco or something it doesn’t matter: have you tried her in the shopping trolley seats or is she still too little? I can’t remember what age we started doing that, but it was a game changer! I even take his toys to attach them to the handle bar!

Have you got any play groups or sensory rooms you can go to? Even soft play areas (lots of places don’t charge for under 1s: my son used to like lying there watching the other children.

Yes vey traumatic birth , 73 hours of active labour followed lots of emergency intervention - how on earth did you know?! I was at at lecture not long after Birth Trauma UK was founded. My Mum had birth trauma from my birth and it made me understand how she’d been with me for years. My DM never sought help, or if she did she was never listened to, and I believe she still suffers with depression now.

I’m not saying that you definitely have it, but I think it’s worth calling their help,I’ve and talking about how you feel. The charity is run by Mums, just like you, who will know how you feel.

Do you feel able to talk to your DH too? I think you may need more support than you realise to recover. You’ve been through a lot. A PG, a traumatic birth then a baby to look after and little time to recover

*helpline

My 20 month old is going through an incredibly whiney and difficult phase right now. I'm finding her very difficult to cope with and it's tough keeping calm so I definitely feel for you!! She only seems to be like that for me too - perfectly happy if I'm not around (which is rare as I'm a SAHM).
My only advice is to convince yourself it's just a phase...that's what I'm doing. And using CBeebies and snacks regularly.
Hang in there and stop feeling guilty!

Increased tummy time definitely helps with crawling, I didn't do much with dd1, just got her to sit and she didn't crawl till 10months and there was a lot of whinging. Rather than my DS had masses and masses of tummy time (due to health issues) and so crawled at 5.5months. The whinging prior to crawling is a thing and on a birth group I was on we would all discuss it as many of us were hearing this frustrated noise.
Also front facing slings are bad for your bank and not great for their hips, can you find a back carry one so she can see and you don't end up crippled?

Thanks all,

I'll make a concerted effort to do as much tummy time as possible !

Thanks for the reassurance about TV.... glad to know I'm not the only one who needs to resort to it !

I'll look at the birth trauma website thanks so much for that.

We went out for a lot of today and other than crying because she hates being in the pram (was not a sling suitable trip) she didn't whine too much so getting out definitely helps.

The front facing sling is fine, its an ergonomic one that raises her legs up to the froggy position and is really comfy for me too. She won't tolerate back carries.

Glad you e had a better day OP. I found the summer holidays hard at first when all of the baby groups stop.