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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

should i go to baby/toddler group?

20 replies

lillypie · 30/05/2007 12:08

hi everyone,i have an 11 week old daughter and i'm wondering when i should start thinking about socializing her with other babies/small children

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PinkTulips · 30/05/2007 12:10

at this age B&T won't make any differance to her but by all means go for your own sake and make some friends with young babies.

not til about 9 months that the baby gets much out of it tbh

madmarchhare · 30/05/2007 12:12

agree that she wont give two hoots at this age, but go now if you want to. I hated it personally, fully of very local people.

lulumama · 30/05/2007 12:14

i started taking my DD at around 10 weeks..more for me than her, made some good friends, who i still see now, and she is almost two, also helped to give the day some structure and purpose...

madmarchhare · 30/05/2007 12:15

yes, good for killing a couple of hours when your rattling round the house on your own.

bobsyouruncle · 30/05/2007 12:16

Put it off as long as you can in my experience they can be quite stressful! It is good for you and your dd to meet up with mums with babies the same age though. Personally I found that a lot easier than b&t. But b&t might be a way of making other mum friends if you don't already have any.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 30/05/2007 12:22

I only started going when DD was about 6 months old - but have met some fab people since then and kind of wish I had gone earlier. It depends what the other mums are like

Original poster

lillypie · 30/05/2007 12:26

actually the prospect fills me with horror,but i was willing to sacrifice myself to the scary goddesses of playgroup for the sake of issy not becoming a social outcast.
however if it's ok to put it off for 6 months or so then that's all well and good

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bobsyouruncle · 30/05/2007 13:14

Oh definitely put it off - I didn't take mine until they were at least 2! It's enough to meet up with one or two other children regularly I think.

PinkTulips · 30/05/2007 13:24

i didn't go til dd was 2 and ds was 6 months

i ran out of excuses and i'm glad i go now but don't regret going sooner iyswim?

americantrish · 30/05/2007 13:27

definitely go. she can at least look at other babies and you will hopefully make some new local friends!!

if it's your first time ever going to something like this, just remember everyone has a first time and most moms are nervous too!!

tigerschick · 30/05/2007 13:31

I took a friend with me the first time I went to my b&t, even tho she lives miles away. It was nice to have someone I knew would talk to me!

I'd go, but it depends on how much you need the company.

terramum · 30/05/2007 15:17

children dont tend to play with each other until they are 2ish so until then if they are mobile then all they do is play round each other so I think you have plenty of time until she will get much out of a toddler group. I think they are there more for the mums tbh....assuming you like that kind of thing

DeJager · 30/05/2007 15:27

Hi there,
you will enjoy it more than your little girl
go have fun, it sure beats sitting at home
and it can be a great way to make friends for when she is older.

p.s. What do you have to lose...go and if it sux, don't go back.
marie
x x x

Original poster

lillypie · 30/05/2007 15:33

true i don't have any mum friends but my real worry is that at 42 i'll be old enough to be most of the other mummies mummy!!!

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lucyellensmum · 30/05/2007 15:43

lilypie, youd be surprised, most of the mothers at these things are over 35 IME. I personally hate the whole thing but go religeously for DD's sake. I didnt go to any M&T really until she was about a year but at 12 weeks i started her at a baby music group, its structured, lasts an hour and is all the socialisation she needs. We now go to toddler music and its fantastic, dd has speech delay but can do all the actions from the nursery rhymes etc that i wouldnt have had the imagination to teach at home. The socialisation is secondary but it happens

tigerschick · 30/05/2007 15:49

The group I go to has a mixture of mummies, grans and CMs ... so the ages vary from early 20s to nearing 60. I wouldn't worry at all about your age. I persist in going tho dd just plays 'near' other children - but how else is she going to learn to play 'with' them if I don't give the opportunity?

Anna8888 · 30/05/2007 15:50

Yes, I went to one of those and although it took a bit of getting used to, I really enjoyed it in the end. Persist a bit and if you don't like the first one you go to, try another, as the groups take on a life of their own and may or may not suit you.

The group I went to was run by a local childminder and everyone was very kind - it wasn't at all competitive.

tigerschick · 30/05/2007 16:00

I actually quite like the fact that I'm not one of the ladies who goes to meet specific friends like some do at the group I go to. I can just play with dd or chat to anyone without feeling like I have to speak to anyone, or equally like I can't speak to anyone. It's a very friendly group - but I know that they are not all the same.

Original poster

lillypie · 30/05/2007 16:03

maybe i'll give it a try and if i don't like it ,i may be old but i can still run

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Indith · 30/05/2007 16:03

Depends on what you want. I took ds at 5 days! He spends most of the time there fussing these days but I personally need to be surrounded by other mums for a couple of hours to keep myself sane.

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