7 year old driving me crazy!!

[MummyMcG2]

I’m wondering if someone can give me any help/advice. My son has just turned 7 and his behaviour is ridiculous. He’s always been a crier. When he was a baby he’d scream the house down for hours on end and as a toddler the crying continued and then the anger started and has become progressively worse over the years and now he lashes out and hits and kicks me, although he never does it to my husband. Also the constant whining voice that comes out of him is grating on my last nerve. I’ve tried everything I can think of to deal with it and I’m at a total loss. We’ve confiscated toys and gadgets, tried reward charts, ignored him, praised good behaviour, I’m ashamed to say I’ve smacked him too but nothing it working. His fuse is so short and anything will set him off on one and it’s always someone else’s fault, all he ever says is “you’re making me” when I ask him why he’s behaving that way. My husband has always had little patience for it and I find myself losing my temper more and more these days. My daughter (who’s 10) doesn’t help matters with her snarky comments and winding him up. I really am trying my hardest to find a way to deal with this, because I’m afraid when he gets much bigger I won’t be able to control him. I’ve been called into school a few times because he won’t follow instructions and is disruptive in the class. I love my kids to bits but honestly today I want to get in my car and keep driving!

If he won’t follow instructions in class, can he actually hear them? Do you think it would be worth getting his hearing checked? You can self refer for this in most areas. How are school dealing with his behaviour? Has he been assessed by their SENCO?

What do you do OP when he hits and kicks you? And what do you do when DD is upsetting him?

Our 7 yr old sounds exactly the same ....at wits end. How do parents deal with with outright defiance and aggression ?

He hears perfectly what is being said to him. Honestly he can hear pretty much everything going on around him whether he’s paying attention directly or not. They get hearing tests as part of the health programme at school every couple of years. I get letters home on the progress of these things - height, weight, sight, hearing etc so I’m not concerned about his ability to hear what his teacher is saying. They were not interested in addressing his behaviour and told me to take him to the doctor for referral to a paediatrician! Apparently it’s nothing to do with them unless a doctor makes a diagnosis of something - I was a little shocked by that! If I’m being completely honest when he lashes out I get angry now and I put him in his room to give us both time to calm down. Sometimes this works, sometimes not. Often he’ll come back downstairs and kick off again about the first thing he doesn’t like, then he shouts and I shout and the whole scenario continues for the entire day. When my DD goads him I generally let them sort it out on their own but I do step in if I think he is going to lash out. If it drags on then I separate them and hope it’ll calm down and 9 times out of 10 it does. I have made an appointment with out GP for him to see if it’s worth a referral but I’m lead to believe these things can take a long time and I just don’t know what to do in the interim