Car seat screaming help! 4mo

[MeAgain91]

So my 4 month old DS2 is the happiest ever baby. Almost always laughing and smiling. We’ve got a lovely day out planned tomorrow with my dad for his birthday. Problem is every single time DS2 is in the car seat he screams and gets himself into the biggest state! We had a 45 minute journey a month ago and it was so awful my DH now refuses to have us in the car - as I’m disabled this means I’m stuck indoors! He got himself in such a state screaming and sweating through, bright red and even choking til he was sick! Took 3.5 hours to get home.

I’m dreading tomorrow and only booked it as it’s a train journey if it comes to it. Same with the one and only family day out since he’s been born in this holidays - train journey so I can babywear if need be.

I’ve even tried taking him for short walks with the car seat on the pram as a travel system and putting him in it to sit in at home (not for long) and it has helped to an extent but I’m still just dreading tomorrow. He’d also found his voice and loves to scream/shout/shriek even when happy so this doesn’t help. DH is already trying to make excuses for dropping tomorrow which is unfair on everyone.

Poor DS1 is suffering as I can’t take him anywhere ever and I’ve also missed 5 important and urgent hospital appointments.

DS2 is EBF, used to take a bottle but hasn’t for months and try as I might he will not take a dummy. He’s got plenty of toys and I sit next to him to play and sing. I’ve removed the newborn insert as he’s quite big and was squished.

Any help please?

Both my children have been the same as babies but with my first (now 3) it got gradually better over the first year then suddenly much better when we could put him in a front facing seat and use distraction techniques like an iPad. To be honest we spent his first few years really limiting our car journeys or timing them to coincide with naps. Tanking them up with a milk feed immediately before going in the car seemed to help both of them go to sleep during the journey.

You could try him in an ERF (extended rear facing) seat.

Most would be fine at 4 months and would allow him to continue rear facing but in a more upright, higher position with more space.

Not the most reputable sellers of car seats but you can try a few out in Mothercare or many independent retailers to see if he settles better and check the fit in your car.

Have you got a mirror in the back? My son was a nightmare when the baby-view mirror was there, as soon as we took it out he started to enjoy being in the car.

Thank you all for your suggestions.

He’s just had a tooth pop through so that doesn’t help, plus 4 month sleep regression and he’s never been a great sleeper. I could definitely time it with his morning nap (or try!) but we have to stop twice to pick up family and I know that he’ll want to feed for 30 mins each time.

I bought him the Graco Milestone but 1) didn’t know that it’s FF actually before his current maxi cosi and 2) that its a Which don’t buy, so I’m stuck with it in its box never so much as being looked at.

No baby mirror. I admit to putting the Mr Tumble nursery rhyme playlist on my phone for him in the car which helped very briefly.

The only time he’s fallen asleep in his car seat was when we couldn’t pull over right away and he cried until he fell asleep. I still feel so guilty about that.

Tomorrow I think I’ll try him in the middle seat as I’ve heard it’s actually safer, and he can have me and his big brother on either side. He absolutely adores big bro, so fingers crossed it helps.

4 months is too early to take out the head support isn’t it? And I can’t use a different brand even if it’s for use in car seats? His is really tight round his head.

I actually can’t sleep for worrying. Seriously DH said he didn’t want any more kids last time he took me and baby out.

I'm an absolute nightmare when my baby is crying in the back seat so can totally understand... I literally can't think straight or do anything until I get her out! Just try some different things and do whatever you can you get through it. It should definitely get easier over time.

Also don't think 4 months is too young to remove insert if it's too tight. You'll know yourself when you remove it, if his head is flopping all over the place then replace.

@lulu12345 thank you. He’s quite broad he’s around 16lbs probably more as I haven’t had him weighed in weeks. The head support is small I just worry about his little neck if there’s a crash but I suppose the head support wouldn’t help anyway?

I have massive anxiety about being in the car anyway and although I think it’s unlikely the baby has picked up on it because I hide it well, I won’t rule it out.

The update that nobody asked for:

Being in the middle looking at me and big bro, without the head support, was a huge success! Laughing and smiling for the journey there and back. So happy!

Excellent news :o

Great news!

Glad that helped and you had a good journey!
I have definitely found that my LO has no tolerance for car journeys unless someone sits in the back with her. She's also usually very cheerful.

She actually gets really upset and I've started to think she's worried she's on her own. The noise etc in the back of the car means you can't actually really hear the people in the front very much, especially with all that padding. I think she feels alone!

Mirror definitely helped us so she could see us a bit, also a nursery rhyme CD with kids singing (don't know why but they seem to like that best). Otherwise if I'm driving I just sing the whole time so she can hear my voice.
I once sang for 1hr 40 mins without stopping though so the CD is a better choice...
Hope you have lots more lovely journeys!