Speech delay support thread

[Spudlet]

I can't be the only one needing a handhold for this, right? So I thought I'd start a support thread. No judgement please, there's AIBU and the like for that

I'll start - DS is 2.5 and doesn't talk. He has perhaps four or five indistinct words, and that's it. We were advised by the hv not to do signing (!), advice which was firmly dismissed by a speech therapist when we finally saw one, but we've started late as a result, so he only has three or four signs so far, although we are trying to introduce more. Eye contact is also a problem and we've been referred to a paediatrician, but the waiting list is loooong.

He's a lovely boy and he doesn't get too frustrated too often, but I'm at home with him most of the time and I'm so tired. All I hear is my own voice prattling on! And I worry about people judging us - thinking he's not very clever and that I just ignore him in front of the tv all day - or that I'm performance parenting as I rabbit on and wave my hands about signing to a child busy looking anywhere but at me! And I worry most of all, so dreadfully, that he's going to struggle in his life beacuse of this -whatever 'this' is.

So if you're in the same boat, hop in. I have dark chocolate digestives, gin, coffee, and Mr Tumble on tap!

I’ll be honest with you rubyslippers, the NHS speech therapist was lovely but a waste of time. It was all about teaching me how to play with my son. I certainly wouldn’t want to pay for that! I haven’t played differently with my second son compared to my first son. What I want is to see a paediatrician before my son starts school ideally to rule out any neurological problems. He is August born so I only have a year left.

Oh that's frustrating to hear headstone. I think it is some sort of play therapy group so I imagine it may be the same thing you did! My issue is more that I don't get to play solely with DTS1 very often as (of course) DTS2 wants to be included, and as he seems to be fine for his age, I'm like you and don't see why DTS1 is different. I'm going to look into private options to see what the cost is (we are Home Counties, if that makes any difference) - I do worry that DTS1 has other issues apart from being behind with his speech

How are you all getting on? After googling a lot I think my DS is about 9 months behind with his speech. He has started to improve in the last few weeks and now says 'no' regularly and has started to say 'boo' for book, and 'bapple' for apple. I think at this stage I'm very appreciative of any progress he makes. He wasn't willing to even to attempt to repeat anything we said a month ago and he now is starting to try which is the biggest difference, as before he just looked at us blankly.

Hello everyone! Just joining the gang

My DC was 2 last week. She babbles incessantly and quite intricately but has few words - I don't know the count. Maybe about 5 that someone else would recognise and a few that I know the meaning of but don't really make sense. She also using the same word for a number of meanings (i.e. 'dado' is dog, horse and, randomly, where).
We've done baby signing for about a year and she has quite a few signs, but does not say any words with the signs. After a long wait I eventually had a "Mama" for the first time on her second birthday!
She had a hearing test of sorts (she hates having stuff done to her - so they only did the very basic test) which came back clear and we're now waiting for a SALT referral date to come through. We were lucky in that we were under a paediatrician for other issues already, so we've only the SALT to wait for.
It seems a bit weird as we have no worries about her development aside from lack of speech, her understanding is very good so hoping a couple of sessions of SALT will help her to catch up.
As PPs have said, due to the lack of speech she seems a very long way behind her peers and very young because of it. She's got a physical anomaly already, so I'm a bit anxious about it as I don't want her to have to contend with any avoidable development issues when she starts pre school/school as well so I'm hoping a bit of SALT will help her to catch up!
I've been following a page on facebook called SaLT By The Sea and there's lots of great videos and tidbits of information on how to help your LO with a speech delay. I think there's a support group attached as well if that's of interest to anyone, and might be a good starting point @RubySlippers77 if you're thinking of going private. I'm not sure where she's based though.

Thanks Space! DTS1 has a private speech therapy appointment booked for next week as we still haven 't had any details through for the NHS one his words are improving, I do think he has more now, but his pronunciation is very poor and I have to translate a lot of them. He was a screeching, scratching horror at the supermarket earlier and I really hope he will grow out of that too!! The contrast with DTS2 (who seems average for his age, and is coming along leaps and bounds) is very marked now, both in speech and development.

Bee will your DS do any animal noises? DTS1 was good at those even when making zero effort with other sounds. Apparently it all helps!

Ruby no he's not really in to animal sounds, he does roar and once he repeated a monkey noise but he's not willing to make other animal noises no matter how many times I read dear zoo to him. Which is different to my DDs who were happy to make all the different sounds when they were his age/ substantially younger so I know there is nothing wrong with my method.

We have private speech therapy and it has been hugely helpful - the NHS speech therapy could only offer 6 sessions when he turned 3 nothing before. I don't see how 6 would be enough.

So frustrating isn't it Bee? DTS2 has picked things up no issue, I know DTS1 has glue ear but I don't see what I could do differently to encourage him. I have made a real effort to force him to say things - we do ready, steady on the swings and then he has to say go before I'll push him - or ask him if he wants A or B, he has to make an attempt to say one of them or doesn't get it. (Works best with treats for him!). TBH he would be happy with 'uh' and pointing/ signing though if I didn't constantly encourage him

Thanks Essex, that's good to know. Our area seems to have such a massive waiting list that I've no idea if he'll even get his NHS class before he's 3! Plus if they then say I can't take DTS2 along too (even though he doesn't need it) I'll be stuck, have no childcare with MIL ill and starting chemo soon. Do you think it helped your DS be less aggressive, if he was beforehand? Really hoping it will help DTS1 calm down a bit and stop scratching, it's driving me loopy!

DS was never aggressive, angry that he couldn't communicate maybe.

Ah probably wrong choice of words - DTS1's scratching does come across as aggressive (because let's face it, it isn't pleasant to be scratched!) but the HV explained that unfortunately it's his way of getting attention. DTS2 can now shout "Mummy Mummy Mummy" pretty much for hours but DTS1 reverts to scratching when he wants attention/ is tired/ is overexcited etc. It doesn't seem to matter that he knows it's naughty but allegedly he will grow out of it when he has more words to express himself.....

How did the private speech therapy appointment go?

It's tomorrow, I'll keep you posted!

@RubySlippers77 my DD isn't aggressive at all, but goes grab my face/arm hand and nails to get my attention as well and my chest has been permanently covered in scratches for the last 8 months or so! She's totally reliant on physically getting my attention and showing me where to go/what she wants. She did start saying "Mama" for the first ever time about a week ago and sometimes uses it, but never to actually get my attention.

The language delay must be especially obvious to you with twins, and you know it's certainly nothing you've done or not done! How's their communication with each other?

Good luck with the appointment today - keep us posted!

Rubyslippers how did it go?

Hi all, the speech therapy was really useful she went through some tests with DTS1 to assess his current level, and thinks that whilst his actual understanding is there (although not helped by his poor hearing!) he's definitely falling behind his peers with speech. That's making him frustrated which is leading to his non-verbal (scratchy!) communication with me and other children.

She's sent me some tips to improve not only his speech but also things like turn-taking, my DTs are not keen on this at all. Both DTs need to work on their colour recognition and she's recommended the Orchard Toys game Dotty Dinosaurs, so I've ordered that.

We're also hoping to join their small speech therapy group - she says it helps with their confidence and social skills as well as speech - but unfortunately because she's going on holiday soon, it won't start for a month or so. Again we'd have to pay for it, but as I still haven't heard anything from the NHS, I think it's worth doing.

Space my DTs do communicate with babbling sometimes, DTS2 does seem to understand more of what DTS1 is trying to say than I do!

How is everyone doing? I became a sahm at the end of August and within a couple of weeks my DS finally started saying words, so for the past 5 weeks he's said about two new words everyday taking him from about 10-20 words to over 100 now. We moved and due to various internet issues it means we have a lot less background noise (no radio or music) which is probably really helping, plus he seems like he is actually interested in trying to talk now at 33months old- I think he's probably at the 24m stage now but I'm hoping he's going to be able to catch up to his peers.

I've namechanged again - but we hit the top of the SALT waiting list over the summer and were meant to get 6 sessions - but the therapist's attitude was a fucking disgrace and she just snarled her way through a couple of sessions and commented "dunno what you're here wanting me to do" because DD2 had hit the point of being able to articulate most of the speech sounds she should have by the lower end of the normal range for her age now (because we and school have busted our arses trying to develop them) and booted us off the list after a year of waiting.

So we're at the point where her speech clarity is still immature but intelligible now, but the grammar and structure is completely all over the place - tenses are all out of whack, gender pronouns are completely off, and she simplifies everything right down to avoid difficult things for her to say. Because she's basically intelligible now and her understanding of speech and language is OK - NHS aren't interested.

So mum's paying for a private therapist to come out and work with her in school fortnightly, and school are backing this up and reinforcing the work and have her in another language development group as well as that, and we're doing daily work at home as well - haven't started really seeing the results of that yet, but hopefully it'll start to pay dividends sooner or later. It's one of those things that it's really hard to notice the difference in though if you're with a child every single day and improvements are tiny... so perhaps she's done amazingly and I'm just missing it cos I'm in a negative spiral.

Private SALT reckons that yes, she probably does have some articulatory difficulties because of a verbal element to her dyspraxia, but she also has disordered and disorganised speech which she's seen quite a lot in the speech of dyspraxics in general. Getting hard now she's in year 1, the work expectations have gone up, and socially she was having a LOT of problems with the new class composition and I've had to get really rather cross with school at several points in the last couple of months - but we'll get there, she's a tenacious little bugger and has natural wonderful comic timing so she'll end up OK I'm sure... just a battle to stop other kids (and adults) babying her because her speech is so immature.

Hi guys can I join you?
I’m at my wits end. My little boy was 2 at the end of September, he has no words, not even Mummy or Daddy.
It’s been bothering me for some time now. He communicates well, he grabs my hand and directs me to where he wants to go. He socialises well and his nursery have told me they have no concerns.
I called the health visitor out and she ruled out autism, he interacted well with her, making eye contact and so on, she did say his speech is obviously very delayed but also some of his play is delayed because he wouldn’t stack the blocks. He has never done this or shown interest in this, he would prefer to line them up or put them in a box. Never build.
We read stories every night in bed and I’ve tried all the ‘first word’ books and animal books, But he won’t point to what I’m asking him and he doesn’t make any animal sounds regardless of how much we go over them. So the health visitor said his understanding is delayed also. She asked if he could understand two instructions like ‘pick up the ball and put it on the table’ which he can’t do.
I thought his understanding was fine because if I said ‘let’s go in the car’ or ‘shall We go out’ for the example he would understand.
I took him to the GP to have his ears checked because often sticks his fingers in his ears, he quickly looked and said no blockage and sent me on my way.
Anyway, health visitor said she would refer him for hearing test, speech and language therapy and paediatrician but there is a long wait.
So I paid for a private speech and language therapist who came and also ruled out autism and just gave lots of tips I found helpful. He’s now started pointing and saying no!

I just don’t know what else To do. I feel so useless as a mother and like I’m letting him down. I don’t want him to fall behind.
I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s so difficult to know how to help him.
He’s so happy and loving it breaks my heart not knowing how to help him.

My daughter was pretty much non verbal until she was 5 and now it's getting her to be quiet that's the issue! I have to say though that we put all this emphasis on speech when it's really communication that's the issue. Dd is 11 now and she can speek but her ability to understand the words is very limited so her speech is not often meaningful but because she is talking now we are left in a bit of a black hole as she no longer qualifies for SALT. I suppose what I'm trying to say is I think we need to focus more on that our kids can communicate rather than how. Makaton is great, when my daughter starts to ask over and over about my favourite things I know she is trying to say she wants my attention. You are all doing the best for your wee ones but I suppose I think you should try and let yourselves off the hook a bit. Maybe they'll catch up thanks to all your hard work or maybe not but you will find a way to understand them.

So DS is slowly progressing. Our local library service has resources called Babble Bags, they're like little DIY speech therapy kits so we currently have one of those. He's learned to make 'fffff', 'ssss', 'mmmm' and 'ooooo' so far as a result.

Paediatrician saw him and said he may be autistic so we're going through the assessment process there. She's referred him back to SALT but goodness knows when we'll see them. The babble bag is great as an interim thing though - I mention it because it's probably worth seeing if they or something similar are available locally, for anyone who wants a home resource. They aren't well advertised here but HVs might know?

I definitely go through 'I'm failing as a mum' phases with DS - did I turn him to face forward in the pushchair too soon? Am I too quiet around him? If it is autism - has that come from me and my side of the family? - but I know that these aren't sensible thoughts.

Makaton is also great. Those with iPhones, look for an app called Sign Studio. It's a test version so is free atm (but no android version yet). You take a picture of whatever you want to know the sign for, and it finds it for you. Fantastic (when it works - it is a test version I guess!).