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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

ADHD what do you think?

11 replies

glitterfairy · 15/08/2004 11:59

I have no real opinions on this but came across this article and wondered what people with kids with this disorder and who had successfully used ritalin and other drugs thought. here it is

OP posts:

tallulah · 15/08/2004 17:32

TBH I'm sick to death with hearing this argument. The article actually mentions abuse at home, which I'm sure others with children like this will find upsetting and offensive. I have had so many people tell me it's a made up condition. Perhaps some children are misdiagnosed but I'm sure my DS isn't. No-one has yet explained to my satisfaction how, if it doesn't exist, 3 of my children do not exhibit these behaviours and one does. Bad parenting of the middle child?

coppertop · 15/08/2004 17:52

It's not so long ago that so-called experts were saying exactly the same thing about autism. I don't have a child with ADHD but even I feel an urge to scream everytime I hear the "ADHD is really just poor parenting skills" line.

Original poster

glitterfairy · 15/08/2004 17:58

Thank you both. It seems a little like arguments around ME to me which I have seen lay people very low for years and yet can be treated as simply not pulling yourself together and not making an effort.

It worries me thought that articles like this are not challenged and appear in professional journals as then those same professionals will respond in a negative way to parents needing help.

OP posts:

suedonim · 15/08/2004 19:43

I do think some people use terms as ME and ADHD as bucket words, much the same as my brother claims to have flu at least twice a year or people say they have a migraine when they have a headache. It degrades the meanings for everyone, unfortunately.

I suspect professionals also do this. A friend taught 4-6y olds at a school where between 2/3 and 3/4 had SN, mostly of ADHD or dyslexia type disorders. She moved to a school about three miles away and was amazed to find that children with SN were few and far between, maybe one or two per class. Her first school was in an extremely deprived area and it seems that many of the children were given SN diagnoses in order to gain a bit of help from the system. I don't blame the school for working the system to their pupils' benefit but it's disgusting that it has to do so to get extra money and of course it makes it harder for those people with actual ADHD.

Flip · 15/08/2004 19:52

I was asked by ds1's phycologist if I thought he had ADHD. I don't think he does. He's active and impossible to handle sometimes but not hyperactive.

I'm blaiming myself more and more for ds1's behaviour and I wish there was a quick fix. Those of you coming to the mumsnet party will meet him and if he get's into a mood it will be the last meetup I attend.

Today at my bosses sons birthday party he went off on one. Hitting my boss and her husband. Telling her four year old his party was rubbish. I couldn't talk him down and he was shouting at everyone and being very abusive. I tried the ignorning, I tried removing him, I tried asking him to calm down. When he screamed across the play centre that everyone could kiss his ass, I had to remove him. That was hard in itself. He's five years old and it took every ounce of strength to drag him out. I didn't waste time putting his shoes I just dragged him across the carpark barefoot. How am I supposed to deal with him? What does that sound like? Is it ADHD? What sparked it off was noise. All the kids singing happy birthday. Before that he'd been fine. I have no answers and very little strength left.

Original poster

glitterfairy · 15/08/2004 20:00

Oh Flip how awful for you! It is soul destroying when kids do stuff like that when they are out. Even a sulk in front of others does my head in and sometimes you know that if you were on your own you could control it quite quickly but your stress is conveyed to the child.

OP posts:

roisin · 15/08/2004 20:02

Oh Flip, I am so sorry you've had such an awful afternoon.

Flip · 15/08/2004 20:10

I wish it was just one day. Every day last week it was after 2pm when he got dressed. Endless times he'd scream at me and make demands. I wish I knew who could help me.

roisin · 15/08/2004 20:16

Flip - Have you read this book: the explosive child Wedgiesmum put me on to it, and it has really helped us find new ways to cope with and avoid ds1's meltdowns. I ordered a copy at the library a couple of months ago, which has finally arrived and is waiting for me to pick it up ... in the meantime I went out and bought a copy.

So if you want I would be happy to mail you my copy to borrow for a couple of months, if you'd be interested in reading it.

Send me a CAT if this appeals.

PS The other encouraging thing about reading the book is learning that there are some kids out there who are a LOT LOT worse than your own!

tigermoth · 16/08/2004 08:00

flip, sorry you feel so unsupported. I can well understand how it must sap your strength. hugs.

unicorn · 16/08/2004 09:09

Flip, I am by no means an expert, but did have lots of trouble with dd (1) as a baby/toddler, and in my research would recommend the book The Difficult Child (Dr Stanley Tureki).. I found it to be more sympathetic and understanding (to the parents position) than many of the books I had read.
Have you looked into the possibility of Opposition defiance disorder? Sounds a bit like he may have some elements.
Make sure you look after yourself... challenging kids can really drain you.

Flip