Different child at school

[Piercy]

Hello

I have a 5 year old who started reception in Sept'17. He hasn't had the best of starts his class is on his 3rd teacher for one reason or another. The current teacher has brought to my attention his behaviour problem.

Being defiant, won't listen, doesn't follow instructions - its like listening about another child.

At home I ask him to clean his teeth he does it, gets dressed (we may have to ask a couple of times), he says his pleases and thank yous. He stops when asked when we are out, my mum has him and he isn't challenging to her with his behaviour. I will admit his concentration isn't great and does get easily distracted, if he did his phonics like he studied dinosaurs!!!!!

We lost my Dad a year ago and DS was very close to my Dad and he does have emotional moments but they are a phase we can go weeks without them - and then they start up again.

At home he is a pleasure - don't get me wrong he isn't an angel but I've only had to take his toys away from him a couple of times; due to poor behaviour and he always gets 2 warnings and on the 3rd occasion he will lose his toy. We read to him every night, we play with him, he self-plays - I am at a loss.

I've just bought some blackout blinds as wondering if lack of sleep maybe.

Hellpp - he's been to the headmasters office again today that twice in 2 weeks!!!

TIA

Until I got to your punishments which sound horrid to me - I thought you could have been talking about my DD a few years ago.

How long has this teacher been there? How experienced is she? Is there anyone who has consistently been in the class room eg a TA? (If so what do they say?) What did Nursery say? Does he do any other activities? How does he cope there?

Being defiant, won't listen, doesn't follow instructions - its like listening about another child.
Being Defiant - could mean just doesn't hear instructions. Won't listen or Can't listen? Doesn't follow instructions - does he hear them? Does he understand? Can he remember complex instructions?

I would request a meeting with the SENCO and see if your son needs an intervention. That should at least get someone to observe him in the classroom.

I strongly suspect that this is an inexperienced teacher with a class that hasn't had any consistency this year. And they could well be focusing the blame on one child.

I would also get his hearing checked.

I was about to say the same about hearing..pop to gp and ask for a referral.

Has he had his eyes tested too? Instructions may be on a white board or the teacher may be standing further away than when people interact with him one on one.

Our school do a sensory audit for any kids that they know may have issues whenever they move into a new classroom (they do this for DD2 who has diagnosed SEN) - may be worth asking them to do that and look at the classroom environment in case there are things in there affecting focus and concentration.

An update

So yesterday we hit an all time low with a serious incident. I contacted a child behaviour therapist who I had bumped in to by chance at Christmas and we got talking, so I got in touch with her and she remembered me.

We went over what has been happening, and it would appear that it is linked to my Dad's passing. DS is struggling to process his feelings for the loss of my dad, the 3 teacher changes at school, now introduced to a 4th teacher which his teacher next year and the change in routine due to it being end of year.

I have a session booked in with her for Saturday. I've also pulled him out of school for the moment and spoken to the SENCO rep and asked for a meeting and briefly explained what has gone on; and she has also offered help.

I think the other things that you have kindly suggested also need looking in to but I feel more positive that we will get to the bottom of this.

Many thanks for all your input