FIL biting Ds

[fireflyfairy2]

We were at my ILs tonight for a while & ds was playing with grandad on the floor.

I was chatting to SIL when I hear MIL saying to FIL "I told you about that, don't do it"

So SIL asks [innocently] "What's he up to?"

MIL says "Well, XXXX has a thing for biting, so your dad bites him back"

At this my ears spring open, ds does not have a thing for biting. FIL is the only person he bites, Ever!

So I ask FIL why he bites ds, he says as a joke, but then ds bites him back so he botes him to stop him doing it... [following???]

I said No, ds does not have a thing for biting, that he only ever bites FIL.

SIL then said it's no wonder he bites you if you bite him, leave the child alone!

I am totally shocked & then rememberd the other day when ds came in from playing with grandad with a wet hand saying grandad bit him, but I brushed it off as grandad playing.

Part of me still thinks he was playing, but not a good game. But then I wonder how often he has bitten my son without me knowing, especially if MIL says she has told him not to do it before.

It's too late to say anything now, as the moment has passed, but I did let him know that he was the only person ds ever bit & perhaps it was because FIL bit ds first. I guess I just wanted to ask what would you have done?

FIL is great & loves playing with ds, I just feel awful that he could be biting him, whether ds bites him first or not, that is not what I would do if he was a biter, do people really bite children to teach them not to bite??

Well if ds only ever bites fil I shouldn't worry - it's just their lkittle game really isn't it ?

If ds was biting other people I would agree that you should worry - but he isn't is he ?

how old is ds? i would be v angry and tell fil to never do it again.

I'd have completely lost it and shouted something to the tune of "If you ever bite my child again I'll knock your fucking head off, you stupid bastard!"

But this is not helpful, or constructive.

I bite my daughter and she bites me, we are only playing a game.....we cover our teeth with our lips and pretend to eat each other because we love each other so much...they may be playing a game?

Not if he is biting to stop the child biting, this suggests biting with teeth

But surely he is not hurting him - not actually BITING him - just a sort of wet nibbley thing ?

I'd have to go back and say somehing I think. Ds might not bite anyone other han fil now, but that may not last.
It is really out of order for him to bite your ds, I'd have probably flipped.
Next time you see them bring it up in a non confrontational way and tell him you don't want him to bite your son, if ds bites first to tell him off and leave it at that.

If it didn't hurt, it wouldn't stop a child biting. It must hurt, or he wouldn't bother doing it!

Meant to say my dad used to 'play' fight with my dd when she was little. I ignored it because it was only ever him she did this with, until the day she got annoyed at her dad and kicked him really hard.

Ds doesn't bite anyone else, no.

He goes to a c/minder and plays with 2 other boys & never bites them.

He is almost 2 & half.

He has a sister who is 5 & doesn't bite her either.

I am not so sure it is a "game" I want to encourage tbh.

Colditz I felt like saying that, but the moment had passed where I felt I could. I had already made my point that ds never bites anyone except FIL. And MIL & SIL seemed equally annoyed/shocked.

BIL stood & laughed, but then he's a muppet.

So when you say don't do that its naughty you'll get 'but grandad does it'

No, it wasn't a nibbly thing, He had teeth marks.

he had them last week too but I brushed it off.

FIL told us that when SIL was small she used to bite & that's what they did to stop her biting. [But ds does not have a problem] If he had I would definitely know about it

Ds only started biting when FIL bit him. Perhaps it was nibbly to begin with, but ds didn't know that & bit him, so now FIL bites him to teach him not to bite??

He left teeth marks on your 2.5yr old!
I would have hit the roof!

if he is leaving teeth marks its def not a game, I really do think you need to discuss it further with him and your mil. hope you get it sorted

Teeth marks? Good God. What is your FIL thinking? Next time you see him, tell him NO BITING at all, ever, if ds bites then you stop, tell him 'no' firmly or whatever you like but DO NOT BITE. (I'd add 'you mad-man' but that might not be helpful.)

I'm going to have to aren't I?

I will.

We used to have a very strange relationship & they never saw ds when he was little.

It's just in the past 6months or so that we are getting back on track & ds adores his grandad, so I want it to stop.

Next time we are down I will ask him not to bite as it's teaching ds bad habits.

Dh said he & ds play bite each others ears, but ds is as gentle as a mouse with him, so this just confirms that FIL is biting him harder than jokingly when he bites him back!