anyone any suggestions to deal with a stubborn 4 yr old DD?

[jolofee]

She is lovely but drives me crazy at times.... not doing as we ask, coming home from the childminders is awful, coming for bath, getting dry, getting dressed!! Any suggestions for rewarding and making a difference gratefully recieved. Previously used a princess chart who moved up the steps when she was good but that seems a nit young for her now.

Hi,
Things I do with my 4 year old.
We use time out for not doing as we ask - if I have to ask more than twice = time out for 4 mins.
Coming home from school - bribery this is done at lunch/snack time so we talk about lovely pudding/biscuit but we do have to go NOW. (frowned upon by some I'm sure).
Bathtime is done during bedtime hour. If she doisn't come when asked TV goes off and no more CBeebies, same for getting out of bath.

Getting dressed - sometimes she will sometimes she won't. I ask her to try to dress herself whilst I dress dd2 (in the same room) and then if she hasn't managed it she has to ask me politely ( not in a whiny voice) for help and then I help her.

Hope some of these ideas help, I'm sure somebody else may come up with something better. All of them have required some persistance and following through of threats.

Thanks for those - sometimes you just need someone else to help to see the wood for the trees! Will try some of those for the weekend. Maybe its just a phase - they do seem to go through good and bad patches don't they!

I don't think there is a magic cure, just keep pegging away at it and try to see things from her point of view. Ds is a terrible procrastinator but I have noticed that both dp and I are constantly telling him to "hold on a minute" when he asks us to do something. They are not perfect any more than we are.

I think just try to encourage good behaviour in everyday ways, through modelling good behaviour and building on your good relationship and doing things for one another as a regular thing. No need for artificial strategies like star charts or time out - just keep showing her how reasonable adults behave to one another and ask for her co-operation in life - slowly over time she will become more and more capable of doing what you would like. Then something else will come along It's an ongoing process and although annoying it doesn't mean you are getting it 'wrong' if your child is not always instantly obedient.