Is this normal behaviour for 2 year old?

[Nj200]

My 2 year old is throwing terrible tantrums lately . Whenever you put him in the car or buggy he really kicks off. He's recently started hitting himself and me as well. Today we took him for his hair cut but soon as we got near the chair he was hysterical and climbing up me we had to leave . He's being seen my HV and Dr as he is delayed and not talking yet, I was worried he may be autistic but doctor doesn't seem to think so. He doesn't play like other kids his age, he does the same things over and over and likes to keep spinning around in a circle. He doesn't listen to you and rarely follows instructions. I can't say anything to him atm without hmm crying or throwing a tantrum :(

I thought the same about my DS OP but he did manage both fine so fingers crossed for you! Think it helped being in a quiet room with no distractions. We went to a toddler event today with lots of toys, music etc and he was horrific

Oh no :( my ds doesn't like loud places and loads of people he covers his eyes and stands still or runs to me lol

Ah my DS is the opposite, gets completely manic, won't calm down, won't settle and play with anything... turns into a screeching, sweaty nightmare child

Felt sorry for DTS2 as he would be happy to stay and play for a bit. Although he does get a bit stressed in situations with lots of other DC so hopefully he wasn't that bothered that we left early!

@RubySlippers77 how are things going?

Hi Nj200

DTS1 has had another hearing test since last time and diagnosed with definite hearing loss in one ear; we'll have another test around Easter and if things are still the same, either he'll go on the waiting list for grommets (but the doctors are reluctant to do it for only one ear) or we can have him fitted with a hearing aid (but then we'll have to get him to keep it on!). On the bright side, I would say that his speech and concentration have definitely improved, at his preschool nativity play he actually sat nicely for 10 minutes or so

I haven't tried any more groups/ situations though where he is required to settle down and play rather than running around shrieking. Not sure I can cope with the stress!

How is your DS doing?

Ah no really :( glad his speech and everything coming on though that's really good! And sitting for 10 mins
Yeah I know what you mean my DS1 is the same at softplay etc just runs around screaming rather than playing. His tantrums are much worse he's hitting a lot now :(
He had his tonsils out in Oct and his speech has come on great, passed his hearing test. SALT want him referred to look at ASD :( so waiting on that now

@Nj200 there is quite a few red flags for autism in your descriptions - when did he start pointing to share interests (like a plane in the sky)? so not to request but to share - if not yet, or it was after 18 months together with all the other flags you mention it is very likely that it will turn out to be autism unfortunately...

I'm pretty sure it was after 18 months.
What's your experience with ASD?

No personal experience, studied child development specially autism, taken part in a lot of research into autism markers, tests and diagnosis.

Is your DS at nursery/ preschool Nj200? Just wondered if they had an opinion/ any advice. If not could he start going, if you can afford it or get free childcare hours? I think that's really helped my DS, especially once he was going three mornings a week (one or two mornings was useful, but not as beneficial as three).

Do you have any idea how long the ASD referral would take, or if there's any way you could hurry it up or take a different route? It seems to be worrying you a lot and I'm guessing you would rather know ASAP if there's an issue.

In the meantime could you contact local colleges/ schools which specialise in ASD? My friend's DS has ADHD and she's found that a great source of advice. He's 10 now and attending a specialist school, he started off at mainstream primary but his wasn't very supportive, hence he moved.

Good luck with it all, I hope you get some RL support soon!

Yeah he's in nursery @RubySlippers77

He goes 2 full days a week, this has brought him on massively, they weren't concerned about ASD at all, he's completely different for them he's one of the best behaved they said . They are really supportive though he is on an early help plan and people come into nursery to do 1 on 1 with him.

Well his app for the paeds was in April anyway (for his developmental delay) but SALT said they were going to try speed up up the process but it doesn't look like he will be seen any earlier.

I was hoping he could go to normal school but will have a look around as want him to get the best help and support