Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Grandparent beat my son

2 replies

Allyjay36 · 22/06/2018 12:22

Hi. New here and not sure if this is the right section so here goes. I am the dad of 3 kids whom live with my wife and me. Lately our 10 year old has had challenging behaviour. Lots of issues with SATS at school/hormones etc. Last weekened my wife was in tears and he's pushed her quite hard. We both work full time and rarely have time to see eachother so we decided to ask grandparents to look after him for a weekend to give is a break which they agreed. All was ok until we went to pick him up the following day. He was withdrawn, unhappy and something obviously wrong. I took him for a walk and he broke dow saying his grandad beat him over the head, threw him on the sofa and dragged him upstairs by his ear. I was totally shocked. I asked him what happened and he said he was cheeky to his grandad and admitted that. He was shaking, scared and crying uncontrolably. I've banned him from ever seeing them again. I should really call the police as this is abuse. Its causes a family rift and put a wedge between my wife and I. I have cut all ties with the family and will never speak to them again. We're shocked, broken, angry and unsure what to do. I really don't think I'm being harsh banning him from ever seeing his grandkids again. I simply can't trust him. What are your thoughts? My son seems ok but he's had a traumatic time. My wife and I are broken that he could do something like this. Apparently he brought his kids up this way. I honestly don't know what to do

OP posts:
rainingcatsanddog · 22/06/2018 18:28

It was very common to be brought up with physical punishments as late as the 80s/90s. It became against the law to use corporal punishment in state schools as late as 1985 and in private schools as late as 1988.

Saying that, I do not believe in physical punishments. My kids are teens and never been smacked. You are not unreasonable to expect caregivers to use non-physical means to discipline him.

How often does the grandfather see your son? Did he know what your son's behaviour was like? Has he ever looked after your son without you or your wife there? I'm assuming that he brought up his children with physical punishments. Did you or your wife make it clear that you didn't use physical punishments? Does grandfather live with the grandmother? What does she say?

rainingcatsanddog · 22/06/2018 18:31

Just seen that he brought up his kids that way. Why would you consider him an acceptable babysitter?

I think that the very minimum that you should do is never allow these grandparent(s) to have unsupervised access with the children.

How often did you see them before this?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page