Just finding it a bit tough atm

[allaboutthegardens]

Wednesday
12pm-4pm 65ml
5pm- 50ml

Friday-
2.30am-60ml
5.30am-80ml
7:30am-8:30- 55ml
10:30am- 50ml
12:30-60ml
3pm-70ml
5.30-30ml

Thursday
12am- 130ml
2.30am-80ml
5am-60ml
7am- 50ml
8am- 80ml
10am- 60ml
12pm-60ml
2.30-120ml
5pm-80ml
8pm-100ml
10pm-200ml

Hello,

I guess I am just looking for some reassurance that this is normal. My DD was born just over a week ago and yesterday and today I have found myself getting quite sad and crying for no reason. She is perfect and my DH is really supportive and sharing the feeds etc.

I am just worried about when he goes back to work. My family live far away and the thought of having to do all this by myself scares me.

None of my friends have children yet and I don't know where to start in finding 'mum friends ' in my area.

My life has changed so much and I don't know how to adjust to this new normal. Perhaps naively, I didn't think it would be this hard. I feel guilty about not being delighted by motherhood. My daughter is amazing- why am I not happy about this?

Any advice out there?

Hello,

I just wanted somewhere to say this out loud (as it were). I have
a beautiful 10 week old daughter (who was planned and loved) and a very supportive husband but I’m just finding it all really tough this week. I am annoyed at myself because I shouldn’t be finding it tough. She usually sleeps well (9.30 pm until 6am with one or two feeds a night), she is healthy (thank God) and we have no real financial problems during my maternity.

However, she has started crying a lot more during the day and is only eating 60-90ml a feed so is feeding more often, and she has colic in the evenings (7-9.30pm). I know she has reflux and is sometimes constipated but I shouldn’t be finding it this hard, but I am.

I am also quite bored. I make sure I go out with my NCT friends, attend groups etc but for some reason I still feel like the days are dragging.

Many of the groups are held at 12/1pm and that is when she likes to have a long nap. So if I do take her she is grumpy because she wants to sleep.

I know I should be loving the chance to spend all this time with my daughter (and in many ways I am). I do love her and feel guilty for the times that I resent her crying (I know she can’t help it) and the times that I am bored and grumpy with her.

Apologies for the long message. I am sitting here with her in my arms and I know how lucky I am. It’s just been a longer week than usual.

Has anyone else felt like this?

Hi,

I think that's a very common feeling. I had my son 5 years ago and I've forgotten all this new born stuff. Now have a 5-6 week old and finding some days incredibly lazy. However I'm (mostly) giving into it and just watching lots of box sets (as I know there comes a point when you can't!!)

In all honesty it can be quite boring. I often felt like I wanted to be doing things with my first that he wasn't ready for eg painting etc.

There's no 'shoulds' in parenting. You are allowed to find it tough. Or banal. Many women go back to work full time as they find out they need that mental stimulation. (I found mumsnet helped there! Feminist and politics section)

Baby classes (you find out the second time round) are more for the mums to meet people and get out of the house. I'm only bothering with massage this time as I have a windy pops.

Husbands don't really have such a big change to their lives so find it hard to understand. I thought I'd love maternity leave but in all honesty it's physically and mentally very hard.

There's a charity called pandas for postnatal mh support with many local groups (what you've written is a common post). Fb groups can be helpful if they don't get too militant. I like our local attachment parenting fb group.

For the colic; Have you tried a drop of two of colief in her bottles or baby massage? You could try a class or just google and make it up from videos.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/dec/04/maternity-leave-vacation-holiday