Are anyone's toddlers *really* sweet with their baby siblings? Even boys?

[DieAntword]

I read so many blog posts about age gaps while I was pregnant and they all said "oh yeah an 18 month gap is hard but seeing them develop their relationship makes it all worth it mwah" accompanied by photos of adorable looking toddlers hugging adorable looking babies.

Ok... so... in my real world for the first 5 months the baby was completely irrelevant to the toddler. There was no relationship, just two sets of needs with no concept of each others existence. Now the baby is 5 months and has started grabbing things and the toddler is almost 2 and has discovered jealousy. So they have a relationship that consists of two main things - 1. baby grabs things and toddler responds "HES GRABBING IT!!!" indignantly and 2. I play with the baby at all and the toddler screams "AHHHH!!! MEEEEEEE!!!"

I mean things aren't really too bad, we're in a kind of routine, but I just ...will I ever see that sweet sibling bond or is this as good as it gets lol?

My toddler is a girl, but shes really come round to baby DS in the last month or 2. He's nearly 8 months now and shes 20 months, they ignored each other or she tried to push him a lot when he was smaller but now she likes making him laugh and taking his toys/giving him things.

I've had to do a lot of encouraging her to swap toys rather than just taking toys, which shes getting better at but she does think its funny when he cries if she takes something so its not all perfect bonding moments.
On the whole she does like him now though, she strokes his hair and babbles to him and enjoys trying to spoon feed him or help with his sippy cup etc.

Try to play on your DSs interests, if he finds something he enjoys like bath time getting the baby to copy splashing or feeding him or making the baby laugh then encourage it and hopefully he'll start to see more positives than negatives about the baby.

My ds1 is 2.5 and will rub his face on the baby's face, kiss and cuddle him completely spontaneously. He goes off to do his own thing as well and does get jealous of whichever parent is holding baby, suddenly needing instant cuddles now etc. We worry that he'll crush ds2 with his cuddles as he tries to put his weight on him.

Ds2 is only 9 weeks so remains to be seen how this develops. I'm sure as yours grow and go through different developmental stages they will learn to play along with each other. It's hard on the older one - make sure he has time to play when baby isn't in grabbing reach of his toys so that he doesn't always have to share. And encourage him to see that it's ok for baby to hold his toy for a bit, he'll always get it back.

My ds1 was 2.5 when ds2 was born 7 months ago. From the moment they met ds1 has been absolutely adorable with him, he dotes on him, hugs, kisses, shares toys, offers him his food, plays and sings to him, says "I love ds2 very much", the list goes on. Twice he had accidentally hurt his precious "little brother" and he was absolutely devastated that he hurt him at all.

I was all prepared for jealousy, roughness, etc, and there has never been a bit of it. The closest he has come is when he's tired or sick and momentarily asks me not to feed ds2 milkies because he wants me to himself for a few minutes, but that's it. He always asks where he is if he can't see him and always asks to hold him and for me to take a photo of them

Ah op i have the same age gap and could've written your post! The baby is 1 now and they still don't interact that much tbh!

And yes the grabbing thing is endless and so boring

I'm bumping this for you OP cos I really want to know too

"Even boys"?
Could you expand on that?

Yes - I have a 13 month gap between my 2 (both boys) and ds1 is extremely sweet to his little brother, he's like a little mother hen. They are 20 months and 7 months now and he insists on his brother coming with him for baths etc, gives him half his food (1 for me, 1 for baby...), gives him random hugs and kisses, and is quick to run over and comfort him if he cries. It's not all idyllic though as now ds2 is starting to get a bit more intrusive with crawling all over his toys etc ds1 does have times where he'll give a big shrill 'noooooo' and take everything elsewhere so ds2 can't ruin his fun!

@RubyLux I just wonder if girls tend to be more interested in other children than boys, most girls we meet seem more socially sophisticated than my son at the same age which isn't always true of the boys we meet.

The boy/girl thing is irrelevant.

Most toddlers believe that what is theirs is theirs and what is yours is theirs so getting angry when the baby touches something is normal.

Realistically, the strong sibling bond stuff happens without you realising it. I've often stood on the stairs and listened to my kids laugh together (when they'd been at war 5 minutes earlier) or overheard the big ones helping the little ones when they didn't realise I was there. There will be more arguments when the baby is mobile but there will be sweet moments of fun once baby can join in playing with the older one.

My DS is almost 3,5 and baby sister just turned 7 months. They adore each other. DS has been super sweet and caring from day 1, no issues or jealousy at all even with long newborn breastfeeding sessions.
Now the baby started crawling and is grabbing and chewing everything so he would say “ no baby, you cannot eat that” and takes the toy away but that’s about it. Other than that he sings to her, plays with her and talks to her imitating us, and in return DD shrieks with joy.

I am following this with interest. I'm pregnant with my second ds. There will be an 18 month gap between my boys. Am so worried about ds1 getting jealous.

Oh my eldest (dd) has never really been jealous, the odd moment here and there but nothing major, but she's just been entirely indifferent, and now she just finds him annoying mostly.

My son is really sweet with his friends siblings. They arent though. And they’re girls.