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Behaviour/development

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Worried about 10 month old social development

11 replies

Ladyjoy · 09/06/2018 23:48

Hi there,

Sorry in advance for the long post.

I'm looking for some reassurance. My lo who is 10 months in the next few days is not imitating my actions and not gesturing much.

Her motor skills are awesome. She crawled by 6.5 months, was cruising by 7 months. At almost 10 months she's able to stand unassisted for a few seconds and walks holding one of our hands. She crawls at the speed of light and does down dog to lookbetween her legs. We do BLW so she feeds herself, has her pincer grasp and can use a preloaded spoon (messy). She is breastfed and likes to smile at me when eating.

She's just not imitating; no waving, clapping, pointing, no back and forth peekaboo. She laughs at peekaboo and comes to find me behind the blanket and when I cover my face with my hands she will pull my hands down and then smile when she can see me again. But she doesn't cover her own face or play peekaboo.

She is able to communicate what she wants in her own way- she will put her arms up for us to take her and has been doing this since 6 months, she takes our hands to go walking, she looks and whines at something she wants and cries when we take something away from her. She whines when she is coming to find me as she doesn't like to be alone for too long. She snuggles by chest when she wants to breastfeed and will snuggle and whine until i feed her. She is not very patient and gets very hangry Smile

She doesn't put food in my mouth butputs her hand in my mouth. So she doesn't feed me. she takes toys but won't give them back or put them back in the box. She just likes to eat them. She is able to switch on/off the light switch and is able to work all her musical toys and looks for praise when shd does it.She figured this out herself through play i think, not through imitation.

She is super sociable and smiles at everyone who smiles at her. Everyone comments on happy she is. She laughs a lot and always returns a smile. We play catch- She attempts to crawl away and squeals with delight when I run after her. She dances to music. She lunges at me with an open mouth all the time and does the same to her reflection in the mirror. Is this a kiss? She won't do this on command, it's just spontaneous. She is going through some separation anxiety so cries when left alone and comes crawling after me all.day.long.

She is babbling lots and can say mama, dada, baba, yeah yeah but it's not in any context. She follows when I point at something. Her eye contact is good. She will come when we call and gesture for her to come. she'll look for papa or mama when we say "where's papa/mama. She greets daddy with a massive smile / squeal when he comes home and then crawls/runs to meet him. So cute.

I read that she should be imitating us by now and gesturing at this point but she's not doing these things. She won't copy me and i have been making faces, waving and clapping a lot. She doesn't point to what she wants. She is inconsistent with answering to her name too but we've realised we use a lot of nicknames.

We live in a bilingual home but I don't know if that matters. She's also at home with me all day.

We had a 9 month review with the nurse who said she was fine. I'm just a bit worried. I'm in a country where it's not my first language and although my dh was at the apt i feel maybe my voice/concerns get lost in translation so just looking for some reassurance.

But anyway, I just want to know if it's ok that she's not imitating and gesturing much. Does anyone else have experience of this with older children? Or any advice?

OP posts:
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AjasLipstick · 10/06/2018 00:24

Op she's tiny! Stop worrying. Just because she doesn't cover her face yet....you really need to stop ticking off boxes because some children don't ever do every single little thing listed in these books....they're still fine though!

Rainatnight · 10/06/2018 08:13

She sounds really great. In the nicest possible way, you're overthinking this.

Babies don't tick off every single thing to an exact timeframe. They're usually ahead in some, behind in others, and some they might never do.

She sounds really physical, her verbal skills are coming along really well and she sounds super sociable.

That's really all you need to know. The timing of the micro behaviours within that don't really matter.

I hope you can enjoy your baby.

Ladyjoy · 10/06/2018 08:39

Thanks for replies.

This past nine/ten months I never worried about her development. I have been exhausted but never worried. We've moved countries 3 times, house 4 times. I fly solo with her to visit family and I feel I/we have taken most things in our stride. If she's happy, I'm happy.

The reason I am worried is because we went to a babies group recently and the other babies her age were doing these things. I was surprised as my lo doesn't do any of that stuff, nada. I'm a first time mom, it's just the two of us at home, I'm in a foreign country and I don't have a hv or family pop in to tell me everything is fine so I read. Everything I've read has stated that babies her age should be doing this stuff so yeah I'm worried, especially after seeing other babies doing it. I've never written a post on the internet in my life but I'm really desperate for reassurance as from last week I'm starting to feel guilty with all the moves and the lack of a social circle for her.

Sad
OP posts:
Ladyjoy · 10/06/2018 08:41

Oh and I have really being enjoying my baby. We're best pals. Even if she doesn't sleep Grin

OP posts:
PureColdWind · 10/06/2018 10:13

I think you are over-worrying. Obviously I can't say your child doesn't have any issues as I don't know them but based on what you've said there is nothing at all that sounds concerning - in fact it sounds like she is doing very well.

My DS1 has high functioning autism and is getting on very well at age 8 and has a very happy life so its not necessarily a disaster if it turns out a child has some issues.

I also have a 18 month old DD who is showing no signs of autism - but my DD was a lot more delayed in her motor skills than your DD. My DD only started sitting up at 10 months. Now, 8 months later, she has completely caught up on her motor skills and looks no different to any other 18 month old. Babies do different things at different times.

Mamabear4180 · 11/06/2018 07:09

I don't think you're over worrying. It's good to keep an eye on development and be aware of differences. It may not mean anything yet OP as she's very young it's too young to say and normal is a big area of difference. Gestures usually around 12 months so the other baby's may be a bit advanced in that sense. There's still plenty of time for catch up and still be in normal range Smile if there is any delays you will pick them up because you're an awesome detective so keep being aware of your child and their development!

I have 2 toddlers and my youngest has lots of red flags for autism, her bigger sister was diagnosed a few months ago age 3. I watch everything and it's helped me with a quick diagnosis with my eldest as I could help the profs. It also helped me work out a milk allergy with my youngest way before I got any useful doctor advice and take action.

numberseven · 11/06/2018 16:24

I know how you feel after being in a baby group and seeing the other babies - I had the exact same experience.

My baby is 10.5 months and does none of those things you're worried about - but he also just learnt to crawl today, does not stand, does not put his hands up for me to pick him up. But he likes his books and remembers his favorite parts, understands some words in both his languages (we're a bilingual family as well and our environment is yet another language..), and is generally a very happy and sociable fellow. I wasn't worried at all until I saw those other, younger, babies do all kinds of stuff I thought came later!

At the moment we are watching and waiting - his next check up is when he is 12 months. I am not very worried though. I may just have an adorable late bloomer in my hands. Smile

stonewashed · 11/06/2018 18:58

My DS was very physical like yours did most stuff on the early side- sit, crawl, stand & walked by 1. He was a good BLW eater too, but he was slower to do the communication stuff.

I remember seeing other babies the same age clapping and he took another 3 months to do this. Same with pointing etc. He never copied sounds I made, but can say words now. Health visitors not concerned about his speech, but he is slower end of average on the communication side of things.

But I think sometimes we forget what our babies can do that others can't yet. We focus in on that one thing and worry too much .

I won't say don't worry, because keeping an eye on things means you are a good parent. But your DC sounds like she's doing great.

wintertravel1980 · 11/06/2018 19:55

I wouldn't worry at all, @Ladyjoy.

I definitely take note of developmental differences between my DD and other children. I know that all babies develop at their own pace but I am also well aware DD was advanced in some areas (communication) and late in others (gross motor skills).

When it comes to social development, the thing to watch out for is early signs of joint attention/engagement. It can be pointing, clapping or waving but it may come through other means. What you have described (e.g. looking for praise, following when you point to something) are very clear indicators of joint attention. They may not be as visible as other signs (everyone can hear a loudly squealing baby playing peekaboo) but they are equally strong.

Sounds like your baby is doing very well, OP:).

DieAntword · 18/06/2018 13:40

When my son was that age I worried so much that he wasn't waving or pointing. My son could speak 5 words already at 10 months (ALL animal sounds, he still loves animal sounds) and took his first steps then but he wasn't pointing, clapping, waving, showed no interest in copying those things.

He was about 13 months when he started gesturing, now he is almost 2 and he has just started copying people without a tonne of encouragement (he's done it for a while but taken a tonne of coaxing to do anything - finally he just does all the movements at bounce and rhyme without me having to say "go on, clap, go on wave" etc).

I'm pretty sure he's fine, and if his on the late side gesturing is a sign of something it's pretty mild whatever it is.

mongo123 · 19/07/2021 00:58

Hello...i know im bumping a really old post but i could have written this word for word from the original poster. Can u please update me (or PM me) to let me know how your little one progressed i am so worried about her lack of initiating social games and imitating actions.

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