Help!!!! 4.5 yr old ds is a little terror.

[Jazzicatz]

My ds who is 4.5 is very difficult atm and we are at our wits end as to what to do. He will not go to bed at night, he is very fussy with his food, he will not tidy-up after himself and he generally does not listen if we ask him not to do something. He has recently added another day to his time at nursery, and I think due to his general lack of sleep, he is shattered, but he will not rest. It is so frustrating as he is a lovely boy, and I so want to enjoy my time with him b4 he starts school full-time! Any suggestions much appreciated.

Jazzi I think it's a time for looking at your expectations of him.

When everything feels a problem like this, it can often be turned around to some degree by the parents examining what they're expecting.

If he won't go to bed at night, it's a case of working out a system that he will accept and you can bear; for example, sitting with him while he drops off.

Many, many (if not all) 4 year olds do not want to tidy up after themselves. They need ALOT of help, assistance, jollying along, games, challenges, etc. It's not unusual for this to be a struggle and changing your expectations can stop this being an area of concern; for instance, as long as my ds puts even one thing in his box I am happy and I will do the rest; when he is a bit older, I will expect more. But not yet. I could make a big issue of it but for me it's simply not worth it.

If he's not listening when asked not to do something, adjust the way you ask. Many kids take a no as a challenge, a power struggle; I find with ds that many times I can say yes when I'm actually saying no, it all depends how you phrase things.

And with the fussy eating, pay it as little attention as possible so long as he is not losing weight or becoming unwell!

HTH?

Thank you Honoria for your wise words - I am sure it is a short-term thing, but is so frustrating sometimes.