I'm a bad parent again.....my Mum is in another sulk!

[robin3]

Early last week my Mum came over and apparently (my DP was there not me) as my Mum left the house my 3.5 yr old said completely out of the blue...

'Go away Gran and don't come back'

she left and DP said he ignored it because it was as if DS1 was just repeating a line he'd heard.

Anway...at the weekend we went round because it was my Dads birthday. She sulked all day but I just ignored it because I wasn't sure what the issue was and thought better than to ask! Today I get an email apologising for her silence but saying how hurt she was by DS1's comment. I wrote back saying that she shouldn't take any notice of what a 3 year old says as he often says things to practice the effect and now I have an email about how she's hurt that I have no sympathy and for sure he meant it...blah blah. I wouldn't have talked to my grandparents like that (she's see my kids once a week and I saw mine once a year if that!)

God when will this end...I feel wretched every time it happens because I know she thinks we're crap parents and I get so angry about her continual judgements.

Dont worry OI...I'm starting to feel bad about my reaction. I guess there has been so much water under the bridge that I am now over-reacting and I can't get past what's gone before or the fact that she sulks like a baby. In hindsight I think DP should have said something but he was so taken aback and she was nearly in the car when he said it so the moment was over pretty fast.

Believe me LEM...we've never spoken badly about my Mum in front of DS1. She is quite bossy with him though and I remember being pretty indignant at being told off by other adults other than teachers when I was a child. One day she arrived with a massive cardboard tube for him to play swords and he hit her with it...not maliciously but so she would play swords....she shouted at him 'DON'T HIT ME' and he was so shocked he burst in to tears! God she's sounding mad now but she is a very nice person who was a great Mum.

Also...sorry to the point of apologising...when DS was 2 and he told my Mum to Sush she stormed off as I said. I took DS aside and explained that he had hurt her and that he should go and apologise. He went upstairs to her bedroom and said sorry and she turned round and said 'that's all very well but you're not sorry'! Tbh that's when DP (who's pretty rational) lost all sympathy.

What my Mum wants is for DS1 to treat her like a Godess and never say anything nasty again...unfortunately that's the one thing I can't control or guarantee.

. Ok, she's a bit crazy. Didn't realise there was history.....

Although as a general rule I do discourage my kids from being verbally hurtful to anyone, I can see that this isn't really the issue here. Good luck!