Prem baby won’t settle

[Lobster81]

My baby boy is now 5 weeks old, he was prem born at 34 weeks. The problem is he don’t settle anywhere but on me or my husband. If I try and put him down he wakes up and starts chewing his hands and kicking around and generally gets very cranky.
We’ve tried to put him in the sleepyhead, the carry cot, the bouncy chair but nothing, he does seem to settle in the car seat but I know you can’t leave them in there any longer than a couple of hours. He also has reflux and seems to hold his breath which is kind of scary!! Any advice would be really appreciated!

Yay! This is great! This is normal behaviour for a newborn. Prems don’t tend to do it at first (though they do love cuddles and skin to skin) and spend a lot of time sleeping. They have to. It’s normal. When a baby is term, which yours is now, they are aware of their environment and can object strongly when not in a comfortable (emotionally and socially) place. It shows your baby is developing well and recognises where he feels safe and can express his needs. It can feel tiring and demanding for you but it does not last - meeting his needs for close comfort now builds emotional resilience and love. The hcps working with you should confirm all this and reassure that all is well.

My baby was like this (prem + reflux) it does get better, so for now just try and make the best of it and enjoy every box set you always wanted to watch (and in 5 months time won’t get chance to watch!)

For what it's worth my baby boy was a week overdue and was exactly like this also. He would not sleep anywhere but in mine or dh's arms until he was about 8 weeks old. It was soul destroying, but we used to do "shift work" one person would sleep from about 8pm to 1am then we'd swap over and so on. One thing I will suggest is to not give up on trying to put baby down, keep persevering especially during naps etc to get him used to a bouncy chair or anything because if you give up he will never get the hang of it. I also really recommend swaddling.

I’ve not had a Prem, and there’s is a really useful Premature Birth Section on MN, but I too would say this is just totally normal baby behaviour.

Some things to try are putting a tshirt DH has worn in his crib, some people use it as the sheet. This give a nice reassuring smell. Also try white noise and swaddling but only if you can get the temperature of the room down a little.

We did the sleep shift too

As others have said, this is normal. My DS was born just a few days before his due date and has been like this since day 1 - he’s almost 9 weeks now. It’s tiring and can be very frustrating during the day when you need to get things done. Have you tried a wrap? They get very hot in this weather but I often just stick my LO in a short-sleeved vest in there. On occasion he’s even just been in a nappy to help keep him cool. It means you at least have your hands free! I’ve been reassured it gets better in time and they’ll just suddenly be better at being on their own? I keep reminding myself this is the “4th trimester” and especially with your LO having been prem. They naturally seek out their source of food and warmth and keep it close by to keep them safe. They’ll get it in time... I hope!!