10 year old won’t wear new shoes

[jesslou]

Hi, I am new here.
I have a 10 year old son who has always had issues when wearing new socks or shoes and clothing. It seems to come in phases but we are currently having the worst yet...I thought he would have grown out of this by now but I’m at my wits end.

We are currently on our 3rd pair of trainers bought that he refuses to wear, he tries them on for two seconds and says they don’t feel right, he has an almighty meltdown if I try to force him. He picks out his own shoes and likes the look of them but the minute they are on its a different story.

I believe it isn’t just a case of being given too much choice or being stubborn he gets genuinely upset with them.

Over the years I have tried everything but now at his age it is too difficult to ‘force’ him to wear them.

Has anyone experienced anything similiar and any suggestions on things that work?

TIA
A desperate mum!

Do you think it's actually a sensory issue? If so, I'd recommend reposting in SN chat - many of the posters there have experience managing dc with sensory problems.

I was going to say similar. I’m convinced my ds has a mild form of sensory processing disorder, but he is - very slowly- improving as he gets older and is still only 5. I can’t imagine how much more awkward these issues would be when they’re older. I’m no expert but google it a bit and see if there is any sensory therapy in your area. A lot of people will just tell you to force it but I agree with you that you can recognise when they’re genuinely distressed rather than being awkward/fussy. My son is a fussy eater but he will literally vomit if he tries something he doesn’t want.

Melt downs at age 10 need investigating, yes?

Thank you, I have been googling about the sensory processing disorder but I see there isn't much awareness of this just yet. Hopefully I can try to find somewhere with knowledge of this.

The GP has referred him for some therapy a couple of years ago but I found it a real waste of time as he was far too advanced for the therapy she did with him.

I have never tried sensory therapy with him, I think maybe this is the route I should go down hopefully I can find some in my area.

I know other mums who have children that do not like change in their shoes and clothes etc so I thought he would grow out of it eventually as those other children have but in my opinion it is actually getting worse for him.

He is otherwise a very well behaved bright boy but can not adapt to the changes and actually has become quite a fussy eater too!! And yes he has also vomited before when trying something new which I think has made him a little reluctant.

Thank you for your replies