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Original poster

How should we prepare DS1 for the arrival of new baby (plus new room)

11 replies

Holymoly321 · 20/05/2007 14:37

DS is 20 mths, and he'll be 2yr 2mths when the new baby arrives in just over four months. What can we do to prepare him for the new arrival? Also, we will prob be moving him to a bigger room, so that his smaller room can be the new baby's. He's getting too big for his cot now too, so should we buy him a bed and get him used to it now in his current room before moving him to the bigger room? Sorry if this is too many questions?! Any advice gratefully recieved!

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TheBlonde · 20/05/2007 14:48

I would put the new bed in the new room otherwise you are doing 2 changes

I would recommend doing it all sooner rather than later - I found trying to settle a 2 yr old in a bed with a bed guard difficult when heavily pg

Original poster
Holymoly321 · 20/05/2007 14:54

Hi TB - was thinking we should start things soon - god so much to think about! Do you think a toddler bed or a cot bed would be better option?

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diamondsparkle · 20/05/2007 15:02

When ds2 was born we put ds1 into his new room and into a new big boy bed so that eventually ds2 would have the cot.

We

1 Painted the room a nice bright colour and bought some new curtains and pictures so that it was ds1's room. (Didnt go with a theme cos they grow out of them so quickly!)

2 Didnt bother with a cot or toddler bed as they are a waste of money (IMHO)

3 Straight into big single bed (actually bunk beds and voila! he was fine

4 We bought a present from the baby for ds1 so that the baby looked generous and ds1 was thrilled.

TheBlonde · 20/05/2007 15:46

We went for a full size single bed
It is a children's bed though so it's a bit lower

We wouldn't have coped with a toddler or cot bed as a number of nights he joined us in our bed and I gave up and slept in his!

Original poster
Holymoly321 · 20/05/2007 15:47

Diamond, how old was DS2 when DS1 was born, and was his first night in the new bed / room after or before the birth? Also, how did he cope with the bed? I keep hearing stories of how toddlers will not stay in a bed!

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Pannacotta · 20/05/2007 15:53

We had this issue too and moved DS1 to his big room a couple of months ago (DS2 born on Monday).
He is still in his cot where he is happy but we are going to get a toddler bed for him soon, since we can also use it for DS2 so it doesn't seem like a waste of money.
We have made his new room nice and cheerful, put in personal things for him, name on the door etc and we also bought him a nice present, a wooden garage, from the baby.
If you are going to move him to a bed I think its prob best to do it before the baby comes or after, just not around the same time, too unsettling for him.

3andnomore · 20/05/2007 16:02

Hi,
maybe get his room now sorted and change him into it asap, so, that he doesn't feel like the new Baby is taking his space, iykwim.
If he is into anything particular, and likes certain colours, etc...then it makes sense to sort of use that as a theme, as for new bed, again get him something that he will love...however, you could buy just a plain bed and you can get lovely canopies, etc...for them now...I have seen some Thomas ones and Spongebob ones, and I am sure there are more....! But defiantely make the change as soon as possible.
MNust say, as for preparation, we did talk to our ms about teh new baby (he was 21 month when his youngest bro was born) , but not sure how much he really got. And I ahve to say I was really worried how he would react to a new Baby, because he didn't like me holding other people's Babies one bit...but he sort of realised straightaway that that new Baby with us must be our Baby and took to him quite well!
Now they fight like cats and dogs, mind...ys is almost 3 now, lol....

auburnmum · 20/05/2007 21:49

My DD was 2.3 when DS born. If have to move to new room, definitely don't delay. You don't want him to feel pushed out by new baby. I would actually keep him in cot (in new room) for a while if you can i.e. if you are using a moses basket. My DD became a bit insecure after the birth. Previously, she used to call out for us when she wanted to get up in the morning, but after the baby she reverted to crying to get us to come. I think having the security of her cot helped her get over it. My top tips for new baby are:

  1. read library books about new babies
  2. get DS to talk to baby in your tummy
  3. when DS comes to hospital to see new baby, don't have baby in your arms, so you can give massive hug. Let DS 'find' the baby in crib himself and say someting like "wow you found you baby brother, shall we take him home?". Sounds cheesy but definitely helped my DS.
  4. get them to exchange presents.
  5. whenever baby sleeps call the time DS's 'special time' rather than baby's nap time. DS loved this.
  6. if breastfeeding, have a box full of special toys or a special DVD kept only for this time to keep DS amused.
  7. let DS be the one to introduce baby to visitors.
  8. get him to help with baby - e.g. choosing nappy

Hope this helps. My kids really get on. Good luck!

Pannacotta · 20/05/2007 22:17

I second the advice from auburnmum, I think it is easier to keep your first child in a cot until after the baby comes, as it does help with the feeling of security and also they are used to it so it doesn't disrupt their routine in yet another way - enough disruption in the form of new baby...
Also agree with the advice on books/present/helping with baby etc.

TreadmillMom · 23/05/2007 15:54

DS1 was 2.5yrs when DS2 was born. Months prior to DS2?s arrival we enthused DS1 that he was a big boy now and as such should have a new bedroom with a proper big boys bed instead of a baby?s cot. DH decorated his room lovely and we bought bunk beds, which we explained that when new baby was as big a boy as he is now then they could share a room and described all the playful activities they could get up to. He settled into his new room from night one.
I also purchased from eBay a charming book called I?m a Big Brother which we read to him loads and he?d ask for too. It painted a really nice picture of what babies can?t do but responsible and loving big brothers can.
I bathed loads with DS1 and when I was heavily pregnant I used to encourage him to wash the ?baby? and he?d lather and rub my stomach, which was nice for me anyway!
Finally, and I know it?s not practical for everyone I elected for a home delivery so that his routine would not be broken and I feared my absence and return with baby hanging off my breast, could really put his nose out of joint. He came into our bedroom the moment DS2 popped out and watched DH cut the cord.
The following morning he was in our bed watching Scooby Doo and Dick & Dom as we did every Saturday morning.

Coxy24 · 23/05/2007 16:29

We put DS in a full size single bed and put him in the second bedroom when he was 20 months old. He was fine. We put another duvet on the floor for any potential falls, which he did but only on a couple of occassions. He never gets out of bed either.

Re: the change and having another baby, we moved house last year when I was 28 weeks pg with DD so within 3 months DS (who was 2.6 yo when DD arrived)had to have a new house, new room and then a new sister and he has coped amazingly with it all. I just kept him involved with everything. He picked the colour for his room and we made it really special for him and I kept him involved with the pregnancy, he used to kiss bump and wash it for me etc. and he's been very helpful with DD - he helps with changing nappies, feeding, bathing. I think that has been the key to help him deal with it.

I agree with other MNers, try and get him in the new room as soon as poss.

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