12 yr old and anxciety

[Storminateacup74]

Just after a bit of advice. My dd is 12 and suffers with anxiety. Mainly due to travelling she hates having to go in a car for any period of time as she thinks she will be sick. Is becoming a bit of a problem in other areas as she worries that if she goes out somewhere what happens if she feels ill. My DH says we shouldn't give in to it and if she has something planned we force her to go and not pick her up if she feels ill. As soon as she is back in her own environment she feels fine and her ancxietes disappear. She knows she is being silly and she won't be sick but she can't control it. We haven't gone anywhere over half term as so stressful even trying to go anywhere that isn't local. It has definitely got worse these last few months and think that is partly because she is doing alot more stuff or invited to do alot more stuff with her friends where I am not present. She is supposed to be going away tomorrow for a night to stay with a relative 50 miles away and is really worried now that she may feel sick but she can't come home. Am I making it worse by just avoiding the situation that starts the panic off or should you face the fear and go with it?? She is also mad with herself as she has missed out on lots of fun stuff this half term. I have never suffered from anxciety so find it hard to understand the way she is feeling. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

no Don’t force her because it could end up a full blown panic attack..is she the same with public transport? What if you give her a travel sickness table before she heads out in the car? Convince her that she won’t be sick with it and will settle her tummy so she won’t get sick

It’s worth a try but you should get her to see a doctor as aniexty can end up getting worse than better

I would get her some CBT. I had emetophobia that started on childhood and it's awful. Can be really debilitating for all the reasons you describe. It easily creeps into other areas too.

The good news is I'm much more able to manage it these days but it's not something that just goes away on its own. You need strategies and the support to exposure yourself to situations that trigger it without it becoming all consuming

Hi, don’t know if it’ll help but my daughter is 8, almost 9, has similar worries about being sick on any environment she’s not comfortable in and often avoids parties/ new situations because of this. She can be generally anxious but we found a book that really helped her:

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What-to-Do Guides for Kids (R)) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1591473144?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Really helped her and brilliantly written.

Good luck- it’s hard to know how to deal with anxiety and strike the right balance between empathy and not giving in to it too much!

I found Helen Kennerley's "Overcoming Anxiety" helpful when DS1 went through a phase of not wanting to go anywhere due to anxiety.

Good luck.

Some great suggestions on here already. I’d second taking her to the GP and asking for sone CBT. I’d also recommend the Smart Girl’s Guide to Worry for her and Anxious Kids: anxious parents for you and her DF.

How would she feel about sone practical steps like some sick bags discreetly stored in a handbag and a travel sickness bracelet?

Also, forgot to mention, there is a great Pre-teen section on MN if you want to chat.