DD2 won't be in nursery or playground until 2nd birthday...should I feel guikty

[Mummyoftwo28]

For many reasons which I won't go into, I've not been able to find a decent nursery for my dd2 to go to. She will be 2 before she starts any kind of day care. She spends loads of time with her 3.5 year old sister, my parents and sisters, and myself and my husband. She doesn't go to any playgroups etc.

Should I feel guilty? Anyone kept their kids at home until they were 2?

Neither of mine went to anything apart from the odd playgroup, till they were 3.

That was a deliberate choice on my part and one a lot of my friends made too.

There's nothing that says children need to leave their parents at 2! Plenty hate it and aren't really ready at 3 either.

AjasLipstick how were your kids once they joined nursery? Did you find an issue?

One and two year olds don't need to be with other children their own age. Their needs are best met by being around adults and older children who they will watch, listen to, talk to, play with, explore with and generally be supported by.

Nursery is great for a few months before starting school because it's a kinder way to learn to be cared for in a group and be a bit more independent. Other than that, children are no better off in group childcare than they are at home.

There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

Mummy it doesn't matter what age they join...2 or 3...if they're going to have separation anxiety then they will do it at either age.

One of mine was fine and the other wasn't keen. Everyone I knew started them at 3 though....mine are 10 and 13 now so maybe things have changed.

3 is the perfect age in my opinion. No longer babies and able to converse. I know some people need to send them earlier due to work...but I didn't have that issue so to me, the age to send them was the age they could tell me about any problems they might encounter.

It felt wrong to send them sooner.

Agree with GoldMantra that prior to 3 or so, they can get all they need from you. Small interactions in shops, libraries ...at the bus stop and with cousins or neighbours are all they need. They don't have to be popped into groups without you at all!

Why on earth would you feel guilty ?

dc go to Nurseries as babies, because their parents' need childcare.

Some parents take their dc to a variety of 'baby groups' because They (the parents) need to get out of the house and crave either some structure to their week or some adult company or they want to meet other parents with little dc.

Once they get to 2.5 or 3 years, then (IMO) it is good for dc to begin to learn that sometimes they need to share, or wait a turn, or do things within thee routine of the day, and that the whole world isn't set up to revolve around them, but before that they really aren't developmentally ready to gain much from being in a group.

BackForGood I suspect this guilt is due to the free places some people are offered when their DC hit two. It will make women feel like it's "the norm" especially if their peers are doing it.

OP is it a free place? If so and you don't want it, don't give it a second thought...it's nothing to do with the government when you choose to send your DC to nursery.

In the UK three has been the accepted age for a long time...at least among women who are part time workers or stay at home Mums. Take no notice.

Well, only a very small % of people are eligible to get a 2 yr place, and also the OP is talking about guilt because her dd "will be 2 before she starts any kind of daycare", so he worry is that her dd han't started before 2, which is only the 'norm' if both parents are back at work.

I kept my Kid with me until she was 3 and ready to start nursery...didn’t do lplayschool with either of my kids