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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Too harsh?

16 replies

looneymum · 18/05/2007 16:19

So, do you think this is too harsh. On Friday we always go to the local shop after school and buy sweets. Whilst waiting to pay my DD1 (age 5) started running around the shop and being giddy. I told her to calm down but the next thing her and her chum where breaking the bars of chocolate on the display in half. Once we got out of the shop I wouldn't let her have her packet of sweets and told her she was very naughty. I wouldn't allow her to have them until she said why she was sorry. My DH said I should have just let her have her sweets and ignore the incident...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

belgo · 18/05/2007 16:21

I'd say you did just right.

hana · 18/05/2007 16:21

i would have done similar to you, of course yoiu can't ignore behaviour like that

liquidclocks · 18/05/2007 16:22

No way were you too harsh! I probably wouldn't have allowed the sweets at all. I really believe kids should have respect for other peoples property - including stock in shops. We have a no touching at all policy but we'll see how it goes - DS1 isn't 3 yet!

I think your DH sounds a bit of a soft touch tbh!

Springadora · 18/05/2007 16:24

I'd have made her go in and apologise to the shop and take the money to pay for the damaged goods. So, in my opinion you let her off easy!

bobsmum · 18/05/2007 16:24

Actually I wouldn't have let her have the sweets at all and made her wait til next Friday for trashing the display. Presumably you had to pay for the chocolate that was smashed?

But then I'm a haaaard mummy.

southeastastra · 18/05/2007 16:24

yes i'd make her apologise to the owner too

bobsmum · 18/05/2007 16:24

X -posts with other steely mums

Othersideofthechannel · 18/05/2007 16:34

Yes, me too. "Agree with the other steely mums."

Original poster

looneymum · 18/05/2007 16:43

Thank you all for your posts. DD1 is definitely testing the boundaries and is v defiant at the moment. DD2 is also winding up the situation so it is all kicking off in our house! Have a great weekend everyone. Nearly time for a glass of wine...!

OP posts:

mawbroon · 18/05/2007 17:22

Blimey, I must be super strict then!

DS is too young for this, but I have had this type of thing with mindees (not with sweets before you all report me to the Care Commission ). I would have told her that she had a choice. Either to calm down or that you would all be leaving the shop with no sweets. If she didn't calm down, then there would be no sweets. End of.
The resulting tears/tantrum because there are no sweets is ignored and then we would talk about it soon after to make sure she understood that there were no sweets as a direct result of her behavior and she could try the next time to do behaviour which deserved sweets.

Strict maybe, but it certainly works on my mindees.

VerySensibleKbear · 18/05/2007 17:32

mawbroon, I like your style. We have a no touching in shops policy (other than toy shops!) pretty much but mine are older now and I don't have to say it anymore - it's ingrained I suppose that they don't run around in shops or the library, you don't touch stuff etc etc. Oh and when Mum says no she means it. Dad however doesn't and he's a soft touch.

VerySensibleKbear · 18/05/2007 17:33

and looney - you did right I think.

frances5 · 18/05/2007 20:15

I would not have allowed my child to have had the sweets and chocolates they damaged on principle. Even if it meant throwing them in the bin. (If they were nice sweets and chocolates I might eat them myself or give them to my husband) Otherwise the child would think that trashing a display of sweets is a way of getting sweets.

I do not consider the above to be a punishment. I am not sure how I would punish my child for behaving like that. Probably ban him from having any sweets, biscuits, cake or chocolate for two days.

Admitally I am a super nasty mum.

I sent my five year old son to bed early in disgrace for misbehaving at gymnastics. He has missed the cbebbies bed time hour.

Five year olds are challenging. I was really close to completely losing my temper with my son.

colditz · 18/05/2007 20:18

I think you were right.

MrsMarvel · 18/05/2007 22:51

Perhaps DH would like to take DD to the sweet shop next time then!

PeppermintStick · 19/05/2007 08:08

Not harsh at all! I wouldn't have even bought any sweets to withhold if that was the behaviour in the shop. I do warning with consequences, last chance then that's it.

I would also have bought the broken ones then thrown them in the first bin I saw! Probably a bit too wasteful...!

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