Tips for helping 3 year old to get involved

[Chops2015]

Hi everyone

Hoping someone can give me some advice!
My 3 year old daughter has gone to Nursery 3 days a week since she was 10 months old. She still cries most days going and at drop off.
We go to a dance class together once a week. She’s normally fine to start with then something will knock her off track and she goes in a huff. Won’t participate after that. Wants carrying, asking for dummy or just sits on the floor with a face on. No matter what I try so won’t get involved.
New situations she struggles with. We went to a birthday party at the weekend. Bouncy castle and face painting. She wanted carrying and wouldn’t get involved with any of the other kids. The more we tried. The more she kicked off. She just wanted a dummy and to sit on our knee.
If we are in a soft play and a kid comes near her she wants to get out.
I don’t know what to do for the best. Am I best to encourage but let her make her own mind up? Or keep trying and fight through the huffs!
I’m starting to really worry about her starting school next year if her confidence doesn’t improve. Xx

It may be her nature, that she is an introvert. In which case in the situations you describe she is not comfortable and her resulting actions are her way of finding comfort (the dummy) or fighting it (sitting out, getting upset).

Don't push her, there it's nothing wrong with being introverted.
She goes to nursery so will be having social interaction. School won't necessarily be difficult, she will just be one of the quiet ones. No harm in therefore getting to know her teacher and saying 'my daughter is very friendly but quiet and fares better in smaller groups'.

Comes from experience of being an introvert myself -I hated big parties. But excelled in smaller groups and 1-2-1 friendships.
And for what it worth I'm not an introvert now.

Still take your daughter to parties etc but let her lead, if she sits by you for the whole time - fine.

Thank you 🙏🏻
What you say makes a lot of sense. I was the same. I just want her to have more confidence than me 🙈. Xx

Aww, I really feel for you as I'm the same with my DC (my nearly 3y.o. is ok after a while but initially will hide between my legs, my 8month girl on the otherhand has enough confidence for the whole family....not sure where her attitude is from! 😑)
But we are remembering our own feelings and therefore pushing our DC so they won't be shy. But you can't change who they are.
So instead support her personality and 'big up' her confidence in other ways.
Next time you're at a party pull up 2 chairs, one for you &one for her (so she's not on your lap but is still with you) and get her to talk about what's going on. Sort of engage her with the surroundings without her having to get stuck in the middle. Might find her curiosity of the bouncy castle develops quicker 😉
Otherwise our little wallflowers will be just as happy & successful as if they'd been the first to jump into the ballpit.