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11year old DS odd behaviour - is this normal?

2 replies

mellymell · 22/05/2018 11:31

Hi all

I have a lovely DS but we have been noticing some slightly odd behaviour over the past couple of years. Don't know whether we're being hyper sensitive or just wanting him to do the best he can be. Here's an example of some of them:

Mentally, bright, eloquent (when he wants to be), reads a lot, but when it comes to putting what's in his brain down on paper, sometimes gets completely blocked. Doing an English essay can sometimes take him hours rather than the 40 mins it's supposed to. Also, with maths - quite simple concepts complete fox him to the surprise of his teachers. Initially we though it was he couldn't be bothered, but it's more than this - he gets frustrated and just can't put pen to paper. Some teachers talk about a lack of confidence, but it appears almost like a physical block in his brain.

He's pretty calm most of the time, almost to so laid back he's horizontal, but this can turn into being almost neutral to events. He sometimes lacks sensitivity and often says things that he knows will cause an eruption (either from his parents or brother).

Lastly, he gets obsessed by certain things. For instance, if he isn't allowed to game (we have a restriction on how much is played on the w/end), he goes into the garden and just walks round and round the back, rain or shine, sometimes for hours. We have suggested he take the dog for a walk or do something more constructive - we do force him to do things instead - but he always declines.

Am I just being paranoid and jumpy because we're about to enter the teenage years or parental frustration that he is not doing better at school when there is definitely a brain in there somewhere? Is this just a normal sign of tweenager-dom?

Am contemplating an educational psychologist to get him assessed, but would this be a step too far?

Any suggestions welcome.

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 26/05/2018 19:31

Hi OP, I would book in with the Ed Psych and go from there. It could be a processing disorder (with regards to school work) but walking round for hours in the rain is extreme for a tantrum, even a teenage one.

Goldmandra · 27/05/2018 20:56

My DD2 has AS, is very academically able but at the age of 15 has only just been able to start recording a decent amount in writing.

Her problem was a combination of executive function difficulties, perfectionism and rigid thinking, i.e. she couldn't think through and plan all of everything she wanted to write before she started (executive function), she couldn't cope with not being able to think it all through in case she got something wrong or missed something out (perfectionism) she couldn't get her head round trying differed methods of planning, mind maps etc because they weren't what she was used to using (rigid thinking). She desperately wanted to do it but ended up being overcome by anxiety every time she tried to put pen to paper and giving up.

Educational psychologists were no help to us at all. In the end the solution was a fabulous English tutor who scaffolded her repeatedly through a very prescriptive formula for recording any information. In the end it became so familiar and routine, the anxiety abated, the words started to flow and she hasn't looked back.

She also does the repetitive walking round. Doing the same thing over and over again can really help some people feel calm. It might not look constructive but if it's helping him manage his feelings I would let it happen. It's way better than getting outwardly cross.

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