4-day-old baby shows little interest in feeding/being breastfed, only feeds for short amounts of time

[birthofawoman]

Turned a comment I left on another one of my threads into a new thread:

We're onto day 4 and still struggling. I'm accepting that breastfeeding is just a journey that baby and mother must persevere through. In addition to sore breasts, my baby now has difficulty latching (despite latching quite willingly on day 1-2) and has little interest in feeding (despite showing signs of hunger/wanting to be fed). He just doesn't like being breastfed, it seems. He'll pull away, and now he doesn't even open his mouth wide enough to latch on willingly - I literally have to shove his face onto my nipple. He still only feeds for really short periods of time (literally, the whole "a full feed should last 15-20 minutes" is so alien to me and I can't imagine a baby feeding for that long), and he doesn't really wake up during the night for feeds. I'm trying to 'feed on demand' but it's hard with a baby that's so disinterested in your breast. However, scheduled feeding is also hard with a baby who fights with the breast and then doesn't want to eat much. I'd like to see a Lactation Consultant, but I'm not sure how to go about this (would the hospital I gave birth at let me have a talk with an actual Lactation Consultant? I somehow doubt this). Haven't been able to attend a breastfeeding support group yet due to the pain of stitches (walking is very difficult right now), as well as the fact that my local support groups take place later in the week (Wednesdays through to Fridays), so I'll have to wait a while. In addition, my breasts are terribly engorged! I'm sat here expressing milk into an unsterilised bottle (no intention to feed to my baby, just getting rid of excess milk). I'm starting to consider introducing expressed milk into his feeding, but I'm terrified that he'll develop nipple confusion and that it'll further deter him from my breast.

I really want to be able to successfully and effectively breastfeed my baby, but with all the difficulty I'm experiencing it's tempting to just give up. I'd like to think that somehow he is/has been getting enough milk and it's safe to continue trying to establish a breastfeeding relationship, but I'm terrified that he's not eating enough. I'm so conflicted - argh!

Anyone else experienced this and managed to persevere? How did you do it?

Sorry for the emotional ending, I'm just really frustrated and growing quite anxious to be honest!

What does your midwife say? Or HV if you've been discharged to them? With problems with feeding I'd expect them to be able to come and see you rather than wait to get to a clinic.

Is your baby producing regular wet and dirty nappies? I would try giving expressed milk from a non-free flow teat (like the Medela Calma one or similar), if your baby isn't feeding very much and isn't waking for feeds. I wouldn't let your baby go more than 3 or 4 hours without feeding at 4 days old.

It's more important that your baby is fed than worrying about nipple confusion. That can be sorted out later if it happens.

Wet and dirty nappies are a better indicator than how long your LO will take to feed. Have a look at what Kellymom has to say.

My DD never fed for more than 5 minutes. Some babies are just super efficient.

Have you spoken to a MW today? If not, give them a call now and tell them you need some help with feeding. I’d also give one of the Bfing Helplines a call and tell them you need some urgent help, just so that you don’t have to wait hours for a callback. Do you have the numbers?

Congratulations on your new LO too

Being engorged can make it harder for your baby to latch.

When my DS was this little he'd often feed only for a few minutes then nap for a while. Then repeat. Lots

Skin to skin contact should help encourage feeding. I know it feels a bit weird to sit or lie around topless but having your baby in just their nappy against you topless will really help.

Often La leche league ( LLL) have local Facebook groups. I only attended one meeting, but found the Facebook really helpful ( and honestly not everyone in these groups will be your type of person but they all want to help)

Personally I let my baby sleep at night, I didn't wake him to feed. But he fed really often in the day and when he woke by himself I would feed him.

I didn't know on pampers nappies they have a colour changing line to show when it's wet. It turned from yellow ( dry) to blue line. I found it hard to tell if a nappy was wet, unless they had had it on for a very long time and then it goes fat! Learning curve

You're doing great !!

If your midwife isn't coming today then call them and ask for a visit as your concerned baby isn't interested in breastfeeding. They will help - always exaggerate your need you have to put yourself first at these times!

Brrastfeeding is tiring for a baby, and it can become a vicious cycle where the baby doesn't drink enough and becomes too tired to feed.

At 4 days, if your baby is struggling to feed and isn't waking in the night, you absolutely must wake him to feed every 3-4 hours. Also, put him to the breast frequently in the day (but not so often it tires him more - say every hour).

A lactation consultant would be an excellent idea! Provision on the nhs is patchy, but if you can afford it I'd really recommend getting one privately. You can search on the internet. I spent £90 for a 90 minute consultation at home, and it was so worth it. I'm certain I wouldn't have succeeded without it. If you can make it to a breastfeeding cafe, I'm sure that would be good too, but I found it just too hard to get to one in those early days.

In the meantime:

If he's sleepy:

1. Strip him right down to the nappy to feed (cold will wake him and skin to skin will help)
2. Tickle his feet to wake him if he stops drinking
3. Switch from breast to breast multiple times in the same feed: as soon as he stops on one side, switch him to the other to get his interest back.

Do also make sure you have the latch right. You need his mouth to be making the 'special K' shape! You can pull the bottom lip out after latching to improve the latch. This is really important: if the latch is too shallow, it's like trying to drink through a squashed straw: hard work for not much benefit.

A pp mentioned the KellyMom site. Have a look - it's brilliant for breastfeeding advice.

Good luck. Breastfeeding can be so difficult to start off with, but worth persisting with, and trying to make it work.