How would you explain homosexuality to your kids?

[Mamioftwo]

Hey,

This is a topic that has been on my mind for a while, and would love to hear what other mums think about it.

I was watching a show on tv, and my 3 year old saw 2 men kissing (it was a peck, nothing explicit). Anyway, so his 3 year old understanding is 2 people kissing means they are in love/ love each other. He obviously doesn't know any different.

SO I was wondering when he's a little older (like 5/6/7) and starts asking me questions about homosexuality.. how I would answer them.
Would you tell your child you can choose who to love/ be with, and that it is totally fine to love a man/woman. And tell a 5 year old boy that it's okay to have feelings for another boy... OR would you tell them that they should be with someone of the opposite gender, because that's how nature or God intended it. Or if there's something else you'd tell them.

Would like to hear what you mums have said to your kids regarding this, and what your thoughts are on this. Thanks

I would say here, have a

It's a non-issue. I'd just say sometimes two men or two women love each other.

What PureColdWind said. I can’t imagine why you’d bring any talk of god into it. It’s a non issue and a fact of life.

Sometimes boys love boys
Sometimes girls love girls and sometimes girls and boys fall in love. What matters most though is that you treat each other well and make each other happy.

That's it.
As pp said it's a non issue, children rarely have issues with this unless their parents teach them to.

What Socrates said.

Personally no need to wait until he's older. The younger they are, the more matter of fact they'll be about it so if it comes up again the just say some men love men and other men love women.

How do you explain heterosexuality to a child?

Pre-puberty, the whole idea of sexual attraction and the attendent love side of it is an abstract, the only way they can have idea of what it means is through what you tell them, or the books and tv they are presented. Given that TV will show all sorts of relationships, unless you control what you tell them and what books they can read, they will not need anything explained.

Watching the royal wedding today, I found myself explaining what marriage is and why it happens. It's easy to take gender out of the conversation, no need to mention at all. We just said it's a party to celebrate two people who love each other and want to live with each other, and cuddle like a family. Needless to say my son's dad and me are not yet married so we've had to explain this in terms of partnership too. We give examples of people we know who live as couples ( gay and straight) and how that is different to friendships.

He's very unlikely to 'ask you about homosexuality' unless you've completely avoided any mention of it for far too long!

3 years old is a perfect age to mention in passing that whilst most couples are boy/girl, sometimes 2 men love each other or 2 women.

Children work hard to figure out how society works. Studies (especially around attitudes to race) show that you shouldn't just assume that children will absorb your values, and you should make sure you discuss contentious issues with them.

It feels wrong to bring ugly ideas like racism, sexism, homophobia into their innocent little minds. But if you never discuss them, then they have no context when they actually hear those ideas (which sadly they will at some point), or they might absorb the view that the structural inequalities in our society are based on some genuine differences, and are justified.

Having been blind-sided when DD(5) was 'got to' regarding religion at school ( I'd avoided talking about it), I have started talking about racism and sexism - briefly mentioned in an age-appropriate way when a 'teachable moment' comes along. Homophobia hasn't come up yet, but same-sex relationships have.

And you certainly don't need to talk about sex in order to talk about relationships

They see relationships modelled all around them! You can easily talk about what it means to join your lives together, to make a commitment to always care for each other, to be as concerned about your partner's needs as you are about your own etc

we talk about people loving each other, being together, marrying or not. We have this book - on the shelf with all the other books. I don't "deal with it" in any particular way.

www.amazon.co.uk/King-Linda-Haan/dp/1582460612/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=king+and+king&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1526900040&sr=8-3