Can this really just be the terrible two’s?

[Cheeseandpickle1]

Hello, my DS is 22 months old and it seems as if he has a real bad temper on him. I know it’s the frustration from not being able to communicate like he wants but I feel like I’m really struggling with it.

Every single morning without fail is like a battle, the minute he comes down for breakfast it’s tantrum X100 I offer him his favourite breakfast and I let him feed himself. He even has his own special table and chair as he hated the high chair, I think the table makes him feel more independent. Anyway the minute the food is placed infront of him he whines and pushes the spoon away, I then try and feed him, again he pushes me away. He ends up throwing himself on the floor and screaming and crying this normally lasts about 15 mins. Breakfast time is the worst of all and makes the beginning of the day miserable for everyone.

My partner works away most times and I just couldn’t cope with it on my own so decided to move in with my parents for abit of extra support. Although I’m now feeling bad because I can see his tantrums effecting everyone in the house.

He seems to love the iPad and the minute he sees a phone he points at it and puts YouTube on, if the phone dies or looses network he throws the phone and throws himself onto the floor, and he actually cries real tears! If he can’t do what he is trying to do ie open his small toy box he throws it and throws himself and it’s tantrum all over again.

I’m beginning to loose myself and I’m feeling so down about this now, even now as I’m writing this my son is throwing a tantrum because Peppa Pig just ended.
I am beginning to worry now as I am 6 months pregnant, my son was never this whingey and it’s progressively getting worse as the months go by. I feel extremely tired and useless and I’m actually running around like he is the boss, I try to avoid a tantrum best as I can but feel like he can see this and pushes me even more.

My partner and I have never argued so much, this is due to the stress and tiredness from myself. I just feel drained, I don’t know if this will get any worse.

DS attends nursery 4 days a week 9-12 I chose this in hopes that he would be mixing with other children his age and hopefully it would make him not get so hot headed all the time.

Changing DS nappy is another battle he kicks me so hard in the stomach! He turns and hits me and screams and gets himself so worked up.

I genuinely feel like my relationship with my partner is getting to a breaking point due to this and I don’t know if I’m starting to become depressed, my emotions are all over the place. I don’t think this is just a hormonal thing due to my pregnancy I think it’s more than just that.

Dinner time is another joke, he never eats what I offer him unless it’s chips or beans and that is not what I want to be feeding him on a daily basis. I offer him home cooked meals every evening the same as what we eat and he turns his nose up and pushes it away.

Does this sound like I’m starting to become depressed, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this confused and lost in all of my life.

Hey, sorry you're feeling so low..sounds like things are difficult and relentless for you right now and you're being ground down.

As to suggestions for how to tackle the tantrums, the first thing I would do is take away all screens and phones apart from a very limited bit of tv. It's so easy to get stuck in a cycle with screens but they can make behaviour terrible. Try to go cold turkey for a bit.

He is probably quite hungry and thirsty in the morning and this is making him a bit 'overcome' at breakfast. Some kids do act like that.

For food it sounds like he's used to getting a reaction. Here's what i would do at breakfast. Put out a selection of cereal or whatever on tbe table (I'd go back to the big table personally, use cushions or whatever to help sit him up and join in). Have bowls out for everyone and have something appealing like berries and yoghurt (or toast, whatever) presented nicely on a plate he can reach but is not 'put in front of him'. Serve yourself and sit down and eat and just see what he does. Don't cajole him about eating if you can help yourself. Basically ignore the topic of food until he needs help with something - but chat away about something else like nursery or the birds waking up outside, any old shite! Try to just keep up a general chat while eating yourself but don't push food on him.

See what happens.

HalfStar

Thanks so much for your reply, that seems like a good plan to try out.

My DS and I have just visited my partner/ sons dad. We have been living apart recently due to a few things. Anyway my partner is shocked by how difficult he has been today so far. He won’t look at daddy, doesn’t want to sit on his lap, nothing, he won’t let us change his shirt and is being very stroppy. I hope my son is just going through the terrible twos very early. I’m just praying he gets out of this rut!

Obvious question- is he getting enough sleep? Does he still nap during the day?

beemybaby has a good point about tiredness. Dd2 is always a nightmare when she’s tired, especially at breakfast time. It’s really really tough but try not to show any frustration at the tantrums, speak firmly and calmly. I have the same battles with nappy time but for some reason if I say her favourite toy needs a nappy change too she’ll happily lay next to her toy while they both have their nappies changed (I make a big deal out of it like it’s a little game). You’re heavily pregnant, dealing with a toddler and relationship issues of course it’s all consuming. Don’t expect too much of yourself, these are the hardest times and it slowly gets easier. If you’re worried about your mh there is no harm in chatting to a gp but, to me, you’ve articulated perfectly life being pregnant dealing with the terrible twos and a strained relationship. If you still love your partner and wish it to work, communicate with them in a non confrontational way just tell them how you feel and how they can help. Good luck with everything.

BeeMyBaby
He does most days have a long nap sometimes even for 2 hrs depending on what we have done in the day. Sometimes it’s only an hour, to me I don’t think it’s from tiredness x

Phoenix76
I mean maybe it is that he is tired, I know what you mean I can tell when he is tired as he stomps around and just whines. He has always been difficult at nap time, usually I have to get in bed with him and pretend to sleep for him to sleep. Another way DS naps is in the pram.

The morning tantrums are still ongoing this morning I have him toast and cereal and I think he enjoyed having the choice infront of him. He did get the jump very quickly and threw the spoon.

I should try the nappy changing with his toys that may help him calm down as the kicking during his nappy change is getting abit over the top now.

I really hope the baby will mellow him out abit because right now I’m feeling exhausted and I’m
hoping it doesn’t make him worse.

I’ve spoken to my partner and he said he is going to have him for a few days to see what works for him with my son, he thinks that DS acts a lot better around with him rather than me.