Why oh why does my 2 year old sit down and start to cry whenever I hold his hand?

[Beyondtheshore]

Two 2 year olds, actually (identical twins!), but they’re both exactly the same way.

2.4 years old, speech is quite delayed (not unusual with twins) so I think it might partly be an understanding thing. Literally whenever I try to hold their hand they sit square on the floor and start to cry. They’re not particularly naughty (by 2 year old standards) so I don’t think it’s defiance exactly, but who knows? It’s almost like they don’t like the physical sensation, although they are very tactile in other ways - love cuddles, quite happy to be carried, etc.

Either way, it’s a bit of a nightmare - it means they are still confined to the buggy a lot of the time, and going everywhere with a double buggy is stressful. I just wish I could go for a walk (or even a potter down the street) with one holding each hand!

Anyone had anything similar? When did they grow out of it? Any tips?? (Reins don’t work at all - as soon as they twig they’re wearing them, they do exactly the same sitting down and crying thing.)

They don't like being restrained, the fact they hate the reins shows this. Unfortunately although it's annoying they have to learn it's either hold hands/have reins on or go in the buggy. I agree it's annoying though!

Have you tried the little backpack reins? My DD loved hers as she could put things inside it like snacks/small toy/drink and it didn't feel like reins. Also if I were you I'd keep them in the pram as long as possible if they're not too fussed about it!

My DD did this- she was a bloody nightmare and the backpack had the same effect. She grew out of it with her sense or reason and speech development at around 2.8 so hopefully you won't wait long!

Ds hated holding hands at that age. (or reins or buggy or anything other than being carried, which I don't advise) He's now nearly 11yo and will often choose to hold my hand as long as none of his friends are around.

I think they're telling you - without words - that they don't want to hold hands. My DD does this too as she wants to be free to walk where she wants but I sometimes have to stop her going places that are dangerous etc.

Yes, I think you’re all right and they clearly just don’t want to hold hands. Which would matter less if they ever walked in the right direction! I suppose it’s buggy for now (which oddly, they don’t mind, even though it’s far more restrictive than holding hands.) I’ve just never come across it before, and my older daughter was (still is!) always so co-operative about hand holding - but then again, I guess you don’t see other toddlers doing it because their parents are keeping them firmly in buggies. I’ll just have to wait for them to grow out of it I guess - though please I don’t have to wait til they’re 11!