3yr ds driving me nuts

[notsofarnow]

He is totally hyper, particularly in the evenings. He climbs all over the furniture. He won't do anything he's asked he's all over his sister all the time, he hits, he refuses to sit properly at the table.

When I ask him to do anything he shouts at me, when I try and discipline him he just screams at me.

I've got a banging head and don't know what to do with him next.

I know, i know I should be greatful that he's well and safe but even as i type he's pushing his sisters throat and generally being aggravating.

I know it sounds hard, but count to 10, ignore the bad and praise the good.

I know this sounds like crap advice, but besides losing it big time and I have been there! at this moment there's not much else you can do. You're tired, stressed and doing a very hard job.

Does he go to playgroup?

yep he goes to nursery all day on a mon, he goes to playgroup tues-thurs and a friend has him tues afternoon alternate weeks when I in work.

A friend came for coffee this afternoon and she couldn't believe the difference in him between when i've got him and when he at other friends and at playgroup.

My ds is 2.5 and he's a bit like this except I've only got the one to worry about!! I've discovered that he's ok as long as he's specifically entertained or that he has time with me on his own each week. When I say entertained I mean we sit and draw for a bit and then I'll sit him with some specific toys or we'll do cooking. I know its hard and I found it difficult to do this with juggling work and the house etc but I did notice a difference with them. I do also echo the praiding the good - and before they've done it. Don't just wait for them to do something good, but just praise them for not being bad etc. I've found its really helped as now ds knows that he can have my attention without having to misbehave.

I feel so guilty, I haven't got the energy to do specific things with them all the time, I feel like a useless mum at the moment. I do praise him when he does good things I try and make tidying up a game of who can do it first and big round of applause for everyone. aghhhhh why does this seem so hard.

I think it's an age thing. Ds1 is 3 and a half and is just the same. He is generally hyper all day and just never stops, always on the go from when he gets up to when he goes to sleep. I have wondered about adhd with him but I'm not sure and wouldn't want to give medication anyway so am waiting to see how he goes when he's a bit older. He goes to pre-school every day from 12.30-3pm which he really loves and give him a chance to mix with other kids and just do whatever really. It's hard for me with ds2 as well as I can never put him down. Dd was never like this at his age so maybe it's a boy thing too?

I just try and talk with him and encourage him to do other things which seems to work. It doesn't help that the weather has been awful and they haven't been able to go in the garden or the park as they love that.

I keep repeating to myself that it's age appropriate behaviour and try to direct his liveliness into better things.

hmmm i know, i know and I just having a whinge. they just seem to spend all their time trying to kill each other. Bed time has been awful this last week too, they absolutely exhausted about 5.30 then when I put them to bed about 7 they spring back to life.

I would defo say that boys are more boisterous - not many of my friends with girls have had this issue. Notsofar - I'm sorry I realise that my suggestion must have seemed a bit flippant. I know its hard - working etc makes you so tired that full on play is the last thing you need - plus you have two which I don't have!!! It's just something I made myself do, energy or not - doesn't have to be indoor, a walk down the park or drive out or round someone's house. Really, it was anything to keep him occupied. Even just helping me with the washing up. I find with mine that if he's not occupied with something then that's it game over for the rest of the day. I do hope things can improve.

Ds is 3.2, and the more tired he is, the more hyper he becomes.

It's like he has to make a physical effort to keep himslef awake so he starts throwing himslef on and off the sofas, jumping off things, making a lot of noise, etc etc

Often by bedtime he just starts randomly headbutting etc when I am reading his stories

The only approach that I find works when he gets like this is to use a very low tone of voice, and stay as calm as possible.

If DH or I get cross with him and raise our voices the whole thing just escalates. I just tell myslef it's only x hours til bedtime and calmly grit my teeth on a bad day!

I can see however you might need otehr strategies when you have DD as well so I hope someone else can help

Ds1 gets up between 5 and 6am every morning. I woke up at 5a today as he was making noises outside my bedroom door but he could have been up for longer playing in his room. Nothing I do gets him to stay in bed longer He usually wakes dd up and then they both start playing loudly and wake up ds2 too. sigh. It is tiring though and they get really tired as the day wears on so I usually get them in bed by 6.30ish and then have stories etc. It really helps him to wind down by reading to him. I've tried putting him to bed later too but he still gets up at the same time but is just knackered and irritable all day.

I have 4 and part of the problem is I think that two eldest dd's 14 & 13 shout at him if he wont do as he's told so he's probably just repeating thier behaviour.

He is the only boy out of 4 and he is totally, totally different to the girls even though dd2 was hard enough at his age.

Oh blimey - four!!! Even less time for you and so much to do. If the older ones are shouting a lot then that is maybe encouraging to do the same. I have noticed that if I've shouted ds has then shouted a lot over the next few days. Can you maybe sit them all down and explain that they need to be more helpful with their behaviour?

had a counselling session last nigth and discussed this issue, she is going to get us all in and try and establish some boundaries with the eldest 2 to stop me shouting, and them.

Only problem is she thinks i'm too exhausted to do it. h moved out 8 weeks ago too.

I think it's definitely a boy thing. Ds has always been a little angel but now... he is generally well behaved but he has just developed a temper and becomes so angry. I have noticed his behaviour get worse when he is hungry and regular snacks have helped. Good luck