Help! Is this normal?

[onemoreday]

I recently posted amessage re:my stroppy 18 month dd and got some good tips and ideas, but still struggling. I am happy with the ignoring bad behaviour but things are escalating here. dd always happy and content at nursery, smiling when I walk in but as soon as she see's me it's tears and throwing ourself on the floor. Difficult to ignore in the middle of a nursery! if I manage to get her out of the door she refuses to walk to the car (about 15 yards from the door) again sits on the ground and screams. Usually start to walk away from her and she will get up and follow me but can't do this in the middle of a busy car park. Hence by the time she gets to the car she's screaming, battle to get into car seat then screams whole way home! Try distracting her once in the car, nursery ryhme tapes etc which previously she has loved but now screasms through. Am at the end of my patience and don't know what else to do! any ideas would be gratefully received.

It is so hard I have been there. Ds would go mad when I tried to get him to leave places and he wanted to stay. He would throw himself to the ground, scream. It was very embarrasing and disheartening and I know how you feel.
BUT . .
There is a light at the end ofthe tunnel. I stuck to the techniques discussed on here (sort of ignoring the bad behaviour and praising the good) have also started doing the naughty step idea and although it took time he has come on leaps and bounds.

He is now 2 and is really different - especially as he can speak better, I think that he feels less frustrated.

You will also find one day some things will work (like distracting them out of a paddy) and other days they wont.

What I try and do now is mega distrction. To use your example I would think of something she really likes at home (like a toy or video) and say "do you want to come and watch ... or play with ...". "what a good girl you are walking so nicely with mummy, say goodbye to everybody" all this sort of thing. If ds resorts to out and out war (kicking screaming) I literally let pick him up, restrain him a little - ds has a habit of lashing out when angry, and carry him off.

On the bright side my ds now has about 1 paddy a month and they are much more short lived - when he was 18 months it was about 4 a day (and he was biting). so stick wiith it, it becomes alot easier and more enjoyable!

also to answer your question - this is very normal and the start of terrible twos!! She is letting you know what she thinks and feels in the only way she can communicate.

Another good tip is to think about why she is annoyed, screaming, try and relate to how she is feeling. I think this helps in knowing how to deal with it and feel less like it is you and understand that it is her.

Hope this all makes sense!!!

I don't think its always possible to only ignore behaviour and you should try to redirect, somewhat as joanneg says although I wouldn't talk about giving her something she likes, rather more like a running commentary, e.g. "OK, we're going to the car now, then we're going to do X and we'll have tea when we get home blah blah blah..." OR just talk about something completely different, what you did last night/weekend, if she enjoyed X or Y today etc so you're still ignoring the behaviour but not ignoring the child iyswim. At her age you can also hold her by one hand and lift her arm up, she'll find it very hard not to walk and won't like it much Agree its probably also related to transition, often a big problem. Obviously you can't be there to say its going home time in 10 mins but you could find out if the staff do that and maybe plan to hang around for 5 minutes after you arrive to give yourself time to say we're going in 5 mins. Some ideas I hope might help. Also, don't forget that if she does leave nicely to reward her then and make it clear why you're rewarding her.