Toddler wont eat

[PleaseJustEat]

Am at my wits end with DD - she is nearly 3 and has always been a terrible eater. She is just never feels hungry and is horribly picky. She refuses everything other than ham sandwiches and cheese and even those, we need to coax her into eating. We offer her lots of variety - so I'll put out some bits of cucumber and tomatoes with the sandwiches, small bowl of soup on the side - all of which get ignored.

In the last month we've started getting stricter with meal times - removed any distractions and toys from the table, given her whatever we are eating as a family, told her she needs to be a big girl and feed herself and used non-food rewards when she eats her food well (stickers etc) and clearing away uneaten food after 30 minutes. We've never given her snacks. She CAN feed herself, she just WONT. Today she ate about 2 bites of toast for her breakfast (we put out small portions of porridge, banana and toast) sent her into nursery and then was asked to pick her up mid-morning as she was lethargic and wanted to sleep all morning so they thought she was coming down with something. I brought her home and she was still lethargic - sat and FED her a banana and a slice of toast (as she said she wasn't hungry) and now she is completely fine, running around wanting to play.

It is clearly lack of food, but HOW do I get her to eat? I'm so scared she is going to get an eating disorder when she is older. She hovers between 9th and 25th centile. She has never once in her life told me she is hungry. HELP!!

My DD was awfully picky but she’s never been lethargic with it. I would talk to the GP just to rule out any medical issues.

Does she drink alot of milk (or other calorific drink)? If they drink alot then it replaces their calorie requirement and they don't have a good appetite. What percentile was she born on? Is she dropping centiles?

I would talk to a GP too if the weakness thing is happening regularly.

Distraction can actually be useful - i let mine watch a cartoon or look at a book while eating if it meant they ate some healthy food. As they grew older they no longer required this distraction and would happily eat a meal themselves.

Also, it sounds like you're making a fuss about the food and making it a massive issue - your DD will be aware of this and might enjoy the attention. Just act indifferent as to whether she eats or not. Absolutely no coaxing etc. If she won't eat, take the food away and let her play and maybe offer it again an hour later and so on - but never offer her anything else.

She may not like what you are offering. Mine would never eat bits of cucumber or tomatoes at that age but did as they got to about age 6 and 7.

I would just feed her too if she wants as she's still very small. My older children were spoonfed at dinnertime even up until age 5 but its not like it stunted them in any way and they can feed themselves with no issues now.

Thanks for your responses. The lethargy thing has only happened the once (yesterday) - we had a particularly active day on Monday then she ate a tiny bit of roll and nothing else for dinner, then two bites of toast in the morning - I just knew it was lack of energy as she hadn't eaten enough food.

She only has milk at breakfast Bee - will drain 2 cups - perhaps I'll hold that back until after she has eaten tomorrow and see if that makes a difference. She doesn't get milk the rest of the day so I know that isn't the issue for lunch or dinner.

Pure I found your post very reassuring! We used the distraction thing for months as sometimes it was the only way to get food in to her. I really feel like she should be eating independently but if spoon feeding her is the only way to get her to eat, perhaps I need to pick my battles.

How big are the cups? I find if my 2 year old has milk in the evening and overnight, he will eat nothing and will refuse throughout the day even if he only has water as he has had his daily calorie intake overnight. Reading online it recommends you give the milk with meals, so a couple of ounces as a drink with her meals/ snacks throughout the day rather than a meal in itself at the start. I read 'my child won't eat', it's an excellent book and has really helped me be quite chilled out with my sons awful eating habits (previously health related so we are only managing to move forward now).

Book link
https://www.worldofbooks.com/my-child-won-t-eat-how-to-enjoy-mealtimes-without-worry-by-carlos-gonzalez-gor003862424.html?keyword=&gclid=Cj0KCQjwuMrXBRCARIsALWZrIj1dVIz9p6ppErFJHW1pmq8Sq-1TUfIlTJzj9derUQ0PrxaTKSOOnQaAm1DEALwwcB

At 2 she doesn’t really need milk until as long as she is getting plenty of calcium. I’d try to limit her to the one cup at breakfast and try to get her to drink it with her food

And if you’re going down the route of distraction, story CDs helped us for a while.