dd1 - 6yrs with huge separation issues - screaming at bedtime

[sleepyle]

Real panic or attention seeking?
Have tried to be understanding and help dd1 - 7 next month - but she is just going mad, screaming, weeping, shouting etc when I leave the house.
I started working shifts 6 weeks ago, 7pm to 3am or 9 to 5pm - she cried out to her dad every few minutes - went to the loo hundreds of times and made a general fuss.

She got progressively worse over the first 4 weeks - we tried the stick - wouldn't let her do fun things we had planned, didn't let her do school clubs- have friends over so often and other little treats were banned.

Then I finished my training and for the last few weeks I have worked mainly 4pm to 830pm so I was back at 9pm. She screamed, shouted, sobbed got up and down to loo loads, asked for water and just kept asking for mum.

To try to get her to behave better we have tried the carrot alternative - promised her all sorts of things if she stays in bed, went through breathing excerses etc - things got even worse.

Last night was work free night, so I went to tesco after she went to bed, to try to get her used to my going out for a short while - promised to bring her back a little present if she didn't cry out or get out of bed. She only had a sobbing panic attack before I left and then calmed down. I came back with a magazine for her after 45 mins - and gave it to her straight away.

went out tonight to secret destination to buy her a special present - she screamed and sobbed the whole 90 mins and was instantly silent the minute I walked through the door -
what should we do?

This is a hard one...we tend to send dd (aged 6) up if she comes down after bedtime (lots of excuses, wobbly tooth, sore leg, itchy skin, etc etc) but it isn't as extreme as this. She sounds as tho she's going through an insecure stage...is she clingy when she leaves for school? I'm sure you've tried asking her what the matter is, so has she indicated the problem? Would she rather have a light left on when she goes to bed? What's worked a bit with my dd are those audio CDs which she listens to until she falls asleep...somehow makes her feel a little less lonely and functions as a distraction.

Thanks, yes she is suddenly really insecure - new job for me, new school in january -doesn't help.

she is fine when she goes to school, and was fine last night when I told her to think about names for her guinea pig that is coming next month.
I don't know what to do about going out tomorrow noght now though!

She loves her babysitter, but am scared aboiut how the 'new' little her will react!