Best thing to do when toddler is hitting older sibling

[PurplePotatoes]

19mo DS has developed a habit of slapping/hitting/pulling the hair of 4yo DD and is quite nasty with it. Usually over a toy or whatever. He knows it's wrong as when I tell him to stop and make my way over to split them up he will just grin and and pull harder! (DD will just sit passively and doesn't try to stop him hurting her which we are working on).

They say it's too young for naughty step etc so what is the best way to deal with this behaviour from DS?

Other stuff we just distract and move on but I feel like this needs a different approach as it's so unkind. At the moment I just separate them and ask him to say sorry by giving a cuddle which he usually will do. Is that the right approach?

Take the toy off him and give it to your daughter if he screams and hits, remove him out the way with a stern no you are being bad and that’s not nice! sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind because he’s hitting his sister who if it was any other kid would hit him back and eventually she will get sick of it and give him a whallop, that’s what you don’t want. He’s being cheeky and you have to show him you’re the boss not him.

I don't think a one year old means to be unkind in any way - he just has zero sense and probably finds it fun. You can tell him 'no' but it will have limited effect at such a young age.

I think you need to tell your DD to call for help and keep her hair out of his way.

@PurplePotatoes how did this end? We are in the same situation now.