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7yo suddenly crying at any perceived slight

1 reply

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 01/05/2018 18:17

DD has always been prone to tears when told off, but since going back to school after the Easter holidays she's gotten very bad. AFAIK it wasn't happening at school prior, but I've been called in twice by the teacher about this happening now. Her behaviour has gone downhill too - getting up and wandering off in the middle of lessons, lots of mucking about, etc - and I know her teacher isn't the shouty kind but is relatively stern. She also cannot seem to sit still.

This is reflected in her behaviour at home too. If she's told off its not just tears we get but often screaming, banging/hitting things, etc. We do tend to give warnings but when we follow through with consequences she will cry at best or scream/hit at worse. She's constantly twitching her feet or jumping about on the spot too.

She isn't one for talking about things directly, though will chew your ear off about anything else, so school and us are struggling to get to the bottom of it.

Two examples of massive fits she's had are over not being able to wear a summer dress when it was cold, despite explaining that she was freezing in it the day before that was warmer and being asked to look in a drawer for something she had lost.

We're getting quite frustrated, especially when she's doing this out in public. Is this a normal phase? The only thing I can think that may have triggered anything is that she's due to sit KS1 SATS soon, so there's possibly some anxiety there, but everything else is the same as it ever was.

OP posts:
Kleinzeit · 02/05/2018 13:56

Hm. It could be anxiety, maybe mixed with something underlying that's only just starting to come to the surface. Has she always been a bit twitchy and fidgety and distracted, or are these totally new things? Does she get on OK with other kids or has she started to have any social difficulties? It may be a normal phase but her behaviour in school sounds like a little more than that. If she has always been prone to these things you could ask the teacher if the school would support a case for getting some assessments done. Your DD might have some ADD traits for example and she might have reached a point where she can't suppress them and needs some help to manage them.

You may not be able to stop this behaviour altogether. She sounds stressed and as if she can't articulate what is stressing her, so she is kicking off instead. Can you try to avoid "telling her off"? Instead try to ignore a lot of minor misbehaviour, including fidgeting and twitching and jumping about (which she probably can't help) and also some of the small things that she can help. For more major things make sure she knows the rules and expectations and consequences in advance so that a warning is not unexpected, and then you can keep your warning short and specific.

It also sounds as if she's not coping very well with frustration or disappointment or unexpected interruptions to life. Are there particular times of day that are flashpoints (mornings when everyone is in a hurry, after school when she is tired) or specific issues that cause trouble (clothes, homework)? If it's times of day then try to keep things extra calm and avoid making demands at those times - if mornings are a problem then get her stuff ready the night before, if it's after school then give her a long recovery time when she gets in. In general try to plan things with her and to problem solve with her rather than just saying she can't do this or that. If she is planning to wear a summer frock but the weather is cold, can you go through some other possible solutions with her like wearing a warm sweater on top and tights?

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