Irrational fear of autism/1 year check

[libm127]

Does anybody else stay up at night worrying about autism? It’s coming between me and my partner and stopping me from enjoying my son. He’s just turned 11 months and I can honestly say I’ve worried about autism since I was pregnant. I have a cousin with very severe, non verbal autism who has spent most of his life in care and a history of health anxiety myself (in my defence!).

I think I am especially worried about DS “performing” at the 1 year HV check. How does it work? Does the HV expect to see behaviours or will she/he just ask me if DS does them?

DS knows his name and turns towards me when I use it but not 100% of the time. He is also really fascinated by latches, screws, locks and opening and closing doors, although not to the exclusion of other play.

Otherwise: good eye contact, loves people, waves, claps, points, babbles, says “kitty” and points when he sees the cat, lots of joint attention like showing me food and toys, cruising with toddle truck.

Does he sound ok? I don’t know how to shake these fears.

We don't have a 1 year check here so I can't comment on the format but I'd mention your worries to your HV quite honestly but only to help you and hopefully get some reassurance. There aren't any red flags in your post that I can see, that all seems really normal!

He sounds absolutely fine .

They won't expect him to perform . You can't really make a 12 month old perform either .

Are you getting any help for your anxiety ?

Not really. I was on an SSRI before I had DS but I came off it when pregnant. Almost weaned off BFing so maybe time to revisit... thanks.

I can relate to your worries as I was exactly the same, especially with my middle son who is now 11 and doesn't have autism. I also have health anxiety. I remember ds being fascinated with spinning objects and being so worried when we went to the zoo one day and all he wanted to do was spin the wheels on his car. He also lined his cars up all the time which panicked me as well as numerous other things that convinced me he had autism.

Your son sounds completely fine but I know it's really hard to shake off the fears. I've tried over the years to talk to my dh and sister who I trust and get their opinion whether they think there is anything wrong and try to remind myself that it's my anxiety and worry that is the issue and that these thoughts aren't the reality of the situation.

Thanks so much for your kind reply @PJ67, I have to keep reminding myself of all the health conditions I’ve been convinced I had and then didnt!!

The one year check isn’t very thorough in my area. I found the 2 year check much more helpful.

If I remember rightly, they ask if they make good eye contact, they babble, they eat well, ask about their sleeping habits etc. It really was very minimal. I believe I was in and out within 10 minutes.

It doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about and your sons doing fine! Even if the health visitor had concerns (which I’m pretty certain they will not as he sound alike he’s doing okay) they wouldn’t do a lot at this stage anyway. All children are different and the obsession with doors, latches etc etc is pretty common at this age.

He sounds fine to me - but your anxiety about it does sound excessive.

My son has autism and has a very happy life and is doing very well in school. I wouldn't change him even if I could. I understand your cousin has bigger issues but I just wanted to let it be known that autism doesn't automatically mean you can't have a full and happy life.

Thank you both. @AddictiveCereal this is the silliest part of the whole thing. I know an autism diagnosis wouldn’t change my wonderful baby, and I know most children on the spectrum aren’t like my cousin. I am a teacher and I’ve taught lots of lovely kids on the spectrum! It is really irrational.

He sounds perfectly fine and developing well, but just to add, if you're interested/concerned about certain behaviours, have a read up on schemas in young children, it can explain the what might appear to be weird obsessions they have. The lining things up thing that can be associated with autism for instance, is probably schematic play. Your sons interest in locks & opening/closing sounds like a connection schema & is perfectly normal!