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Anxious 4 year old

2 replies

Gingerteabag · 28/04/2018 22:34

Hello, just hoping for some advice about DD.

She wasn't a very happy or settled baby and we just fell into doing whatever seemed to keep her happiest rather than what we'd planned, ie Co-sleeping.

She's always seemed a bit highly strung I suppose is how I'd describe it, floods of tears sometimes when she's told off, using time out just sent her hyperventilating so we had to abandon it, but she is generally I'd say a good kid, sweet natured, usually good at sharing and loves company of friends. She's at preschool 15 hours a week which she loves.

I'm just becoming increasingly concerned about the fact she's still having hysterical meltdowns about things that are really just trivial, like her favourite cup being unavailable or not wanting to share a toy. It's not anger, it's just absolutely heartbroken sobbing and it's completely hysterical. She cannot calm herself down.

I don't know if it's got worse or if I'm just getting more concious of it. It feels like something she really should have grown out of by now, but it's at least 3 incidents this week. She just seems incapable of calming down at all and I'm starting to think is this our fault because we haven't in any way trained her to self settle. She also hates being alone, we are still also Co-sleeping at least part of the night because if she wakes and is alone she's immediately upset. When I suggested she might like her own space recently she got very distressed.

I'd say she seems happy most of the time, but I've no idea how she'll cope when she goes to school, no teacher is going to have time to try and talk her down when she's in the state she gets herself into. Any helpful thoughts very welcome

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AddictiveCereal · 28/04/2018 22:42

3 incidents a week doesn't sound that much at all as she is only 4.

How is she in preschool?

Lots of children don't like being alone at night. My 6 year old still falls asleep in my bed at night as he doesn't like being alone. My 8 year old used to be the same but now sleeps happily alone every night.

Gingerteabag · 28/04/2018 23:17

Thank you, that's reassuring! Lovely to hear older children who've made that transition easily. Maybe it's more, she's quite easily upset, but those have just stood out to me as occasions which have really escalated. Preschool seems fine I hope, her key worker has mentioned a few times about her getting upset, but not in a way that suggests she's concerned. Think it's just now we're all starting to think about school it's focusing the mind a lot. It's just the being unable to settle herself that I'm really worried over, I've not seen any of her friends same age get into similar states

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