WOHM what's the time from getting home to dcs going to bed like at yours?

[hatwoman]

cos it's sodding crap at mine

THat sounds hard giraffeski

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Yes dp is always letting dd stay uplate and it just ends in a tantrum and not always from her

Yes I do long days about once a week so don't see dd at all those evenings, crap on the weekends when I do three in a row. My night shifts aren't so bad, get to see her more then than if I do long days.

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I work part-time and collect DS from school at 4.45, then DD from childminder, we get in at 5. Try to play with them for about half an hour and then prepare a very quick tea (pressure cooker is marvellous) so they can eat at 6. Then teeth etc and into bed by 7.30 at the latest. DH sometimes home in time to help with the after-meal bit.
Making time to play really helps because then they usually keep themselves amused while I'm getting tea (unless DS is particularly shattered then he either runs round shrieking or winds up his little sis). Also, if it's a difficult night on the table manners or teeth-brushing etc front, at least I know that we've had a bit of fun together.
Don't do bath every night as it inevitably cuts into play time or delays the bedtime.

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hatwoman. you are so not alone! used to be hell on earth here, most nights, with 2ds's now 9 and 7...... at risk of sounding melodramatic was one factor which has led me to take lengthy sabbatical from career..... aloha is right, its not all flowers and cuddles now but just having so much less stress on me has meant i can (ususally) stay calmer / keep it in better perspective. my ds1 has secondary transfer exams in 1/08 and i just didnt see how we were going to support him through that with the 2 of us working flat out in demanding jobs.... (i do realise that i am v lucky to have the choices i do)

hatwoman my after work hours used to be awful too. Seems like everything speeds up from 5.30 onwards (when I leave work) and things gather momentum until bedtime (about 7.30.)
I used to try and do "normal" after-work stuff- cooking dinner, putting on some washing, getting changed out of work clothes etc- but now I just focus on having a nice time with ds and it's changed things hugely. We actually have a really nice time now.
I pick ds up at just before 6, get home at 6.30, we sit down on the sofa both cuddled up under his special blanket - basically really chilled out down-time. Don't do a bath every night.
My advice would be to only do the absolute essentials when you get home- use the time to "reconnect" with your family. It's well worth it. (Don't even think about what to have for dinner until I'm back downstairs at about 8, so we end up eating about 9-9.30 and the cat doesn't get fed until then either )
Good luck