3 year old still not potty trained

[Jade412]

My youngest daughter is 3. She started a new nursery in January and was still in pull ups. The nursery insisted she go in pants as they were having to change her while she's there. She now wears pants while she's there and sits on the toilet but won't do anything (they take them to the toilet every 10 mins). She holds it in till she gets home and will scream for a nappy. I've tried normal pottys, singing pottys, a normal toilet, reward charts, giving her lots of praise, bring relaxed about it, singing to relax her while shes on the potty. She has older siblings aged 6 and 5. They have showed her what to do and spoke with her. I've showed her what to do. I've tried leaving her in pants when home and when she's asked for a nappy I've sat her on the potty and she screams like crazy! She holds it so long she starts shaking. It's upsetting to see. She's so determined to not do it. I know every child does it in their own time. But it saddens me to think she's holding it in all morning at nursery. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I think if I don't start this now she's going to get more and more anxious.

She's obviously got very good bladder control if she can hold it in if she wears pants. Is she uncomfortable when she wees in her nappy? I think being relaxed and giving positive praise helps a lot. Perhaps you could try terry towling training pants so if she wants she can wee in it or she can choose the potty, it's up to her. My DS (2.3yr) wet himself for 2 days then decided it was a better option to use the potty.

(Disclaimer- we had used a gentler approach first time round at 2yrs old so we knew he had good bladder control, but he had an acute illness so we had to retrain). It was similar in the way that he seemed to fear the potty and got very stressed if I made him sit on it, so leaving him the option to just wet himself and be uncomfortable gave him more control- no more cruel than using reusable nappies I guess as they don't wick the moisture away either. I would also do it when you have time off, like over some of the long may weekends so she doesn't have to stress about going at nursery.

Will she wee in the potty if you place an open nappy in the bottom
of the potty ?

We have a Bing all aboard the toilet train book ( and I think they do toys too) My little one likes watching Bing cartoons on iPlayer. Think it helps introduce toilets.